today i learned what a pathetic piece of shit i am. i’ve had this friend who i considered very important almost like a need to talk to this person everyday, that person wasn’t the nicest to me but it was all in good fun of course. even though sometimes it actually hurts my feelings. i learned that the person i considered very important in my life doesn’t feel the same. i am a mere friend. i am an unimportant person in this friend’s eyes. i am not someone special, as they are to me. it hurts how much i care about this person when it’s probably not as mutual. the reason why i’m even writing this is because i care so much that i don’t know what to do .
Put yourself first before it’s too late. It’s okay to put yourself in the fore front and to protect your happiness from others who want to rip it away. Even as I wtite this, I realize how hypocritical I am. I too have been in a similar situation; I don’t know if I merely cared so much as I wanted to feel a sense of belonging to a friend/ group who made it known that I wasn’t their prerogative …even made me feel lesser. Turned me angry in a way…now I push everyone away even family…who makes me feel like Im ruinung their happiness…people will shut you out after A while …my point is not to hinack your original statement…basically that maybe at some point its okay to lock ppl out who dont seem to care about you…or are only taking away from you. Better to be independent than rely on ppl who merely use you…or dont appreciate your time. Care about yourself abd then for others who will appreciate you. Kindness is nit a reason to be stomped on. Take care.
