Today I have split with my partner after a rollercoaster 3 years. I am in my late 30s, I have children from previous relationship and I thought this man was the love of my life- in many ways he was very good to me, fixed up my house, was great with my kids, but every few months things would blow up- he was very jealous, went through my phone, ignored my calls when I was in the hospital with covid19, can be verbally abusive and intentionally hurtful when angry. My dad died last year and he was there through it all- I was diagnosed with a chronic condition a few months later. My life has changed so massively, I’m really struggling at work health wise but can’t afford to reduce my hours, I’m in pain every day and my partner would sometimes be supportive but other times has gone to sleep when I’ve been crying from pain or told me during an argument that I don’t seem that sick. Yesterday he ignored me all day after I told him in the morning I was struggling to want to keep going in all the pain I was in. His excuse was ‘he didn’t want to say the wrong thing’. I love him but I know he’s not right for me- we have completely different ideas about supporting partners and I’m not going to recover. The hard part is my children adore him and he already left once and returned with apologies for all of us. Without him, I would struggle financially- and I feel like I’m going to be completely alone with my illness. My family do not live close by and I’m a very private person.
I guess I’ve made up my mind and just needed to rant. It’s a week til the death anniversary and I just feel terrible.
Don’t be sad please. Please whatever life you’re left with, please live it according to your will. Talk to your children about it if you feel like they are big enough to understand. I know I’m also no one to give advices but I just can’t feel good knowing someone’s not doing well.
