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Today I feel down. Let me explain a bit of my history, 2 years ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer Hodgkin’s lymphoma. After a year of non-stop treatments, in and outs of hospitals, the Dr finally declared me in remission (cancer is stable).

However, one of the main side effects of the chemo, Dr say the chances for me to have children is slim to non-existence.

Today while I was in traffic, I saw a mother and daughter walking on the side of the rode. The daughter is maybe around 5 years old and was wearing a cute pink handbag and eating ice cream. Both parent and child were holding hand and walking together and smiling to each other. Then it just hit me that I not able to hold my children hands like that due to me being sterile. It breaks my heart as I always fantasize to have children of my own.

I thought about adopting but I’m afraid that due to the severity of my condition, I might relapse and not live a long life and the adopted kid would just return to the system. Both of my parents are both retired and would not have the energy to take care a small child. My fiancé is not interested in having children. If we decided to adopted and if I’m gone, I do not want to burden her with a child that she doesn’t want. Also in my country, single men are not allowed to adopt for safety reason which I totally agree.

It kills me in the inside as I have so much of love to give and I would definitely spoil my kids to the max.

Thanks for reading, just need to share.

Post anonymously?

Good to hear that your Cancer is cured.
And, you want to love your own child in the best way possible.

Just a suggestion, we do think of our future and then decide our present, but what if we start living in the present and enjoy the moments which we will cherish our whole life (even if it less than you think)? Everyone has a time period to stay and leave, you too have so that shouldn’t be a big deal I suppose. Without even having the regret to not love somebody while I could have.
I wish you get what you truly want and make you happy.💜🌼

Your story is so touching. You are a brave being and you deserve everything in the world. I really hope you dont relapse. It must be so hard to find out that you might not have children. Stay strong dear :) I just hope the best for you:)


I think that it’s okay to be afraid,do what your heart says if you wanna adopt then adopt but if you don’t want to then don’t,just don’t let fear get to you,your strong stay safe stay you.


It’s really sad to read this and I hope you stay happy in the future. I know a family who is going somewhat the same situation and they have been really sad about not having a child but instead they learned to accept it and spend more time with friends and enjoy their life together.

I don’t know if this is a good advice but I guess you and your fiancé could take time to adopt a pet instead of a child that is if both of you are okay. it can be a dog, cat maybe even a bunny, as long as their company makes you both comfortable.

I am not sure if you will be able to do it but maybe you can volunteer at an orphanage. There are many kids out there without parents and maybe you can help one of them. In this case I guess you don’t have to adopt but just need to spend more time with them…I am not really sure but I have only heard of this 😅

Hope I was able to help you !!!