To the man who broke my Heart 🎈💔
You do not know me nor I you, however we each proportion something so unique. you’re my father, even supposing I don’t need to admit it, you are. i have lied unsleeping many nights thinking about what you had been like. have been you smart? had been you kind and loving? would you have loved me unconditionally? those are questions I can also by no means get the solutions to. maybe one day my dream of in the end assembly you may come true, or perhaps these will continually be unanswered questions. maybe I won’t. however what I know for positive is that you’ll always be in my coronary heart and thoughts. I know that as long as i’m dwelling, you will constantly be a part of me.
It become hard developing up and no longer knowing who you have been. realizing that i used to be one of a kind from the alternative teen changed into a hard issue to handle in the beginning, but I finally were given used to it. One element i can in no way get used to is the look of pity i am given whilst it’s far determined out which you are unknown in my life. I try to reassure people that it’s miles adequate, however the looks on their faces constantly inform me it is no longer. i’m able to nonetheless don’t forget being in center college and feeling like I did something wrong because whenever fathers have been brought up round me, a person constantly felt the need to exchange the concern. I made my friends uncomfortable. You made my friends uncomfortable. quickly enough, my friends just in no way referred to mother and father. Or in the event that they did, they might only speak about their moms. I may not recognize who you’re, but i know how uncomfortable you can make humans. For a while i’d just snort while a person introduced you up, i might snigger and exchange the problem. Even now, I nevertheless get a little uncomfortable speakme approximatly you, but I recognise there is not anything wrong with not knowing who you are.🙈
despite the fact that there are numerous negatives that no longer understand who your father is, i was able to experience one positive thing. i used to be able to witness my mom enhance me with the help of my own family. i used to be able to develop along side my mother and assist her come to be a stronger character. 😴 because of you, i used to be able to grow up around a own family who cares for me. 😪 i was surrounded with the aid of an considerable loving circle of relatives, so I never felt undesirable.
So, thanks. i’ve been thru many struggles because of you, but I additionally would not be the person i’m these days. maybe within the future we can cross paths, and i will eventually have the ability to say a name in place of “I do not know” while i am asked who you are.