This was the time i needed her  the most literally, tumai ni pata tha kya chal raha hai meri life mai , chalo 

3am Thoughts

It's easy to give suggestions to others problem but when it's your turn to take decision most of us are fail to handle the situation.

Is it okay to tell about your current CTC in an interview.
If not then how to revert to that question when interviewer asked for it?

Career

How to find better flats near me ? Like the sites like housing n all isn't showing good results...

Marathi pps in the house?

Heyy anyone wanna chat up 👀❤️

I have a solid group of friends that spend a loooot of time together and I feel like I am outgrowing them. It is great to always do fun things and laugh but it feels not genuine when we might be dealing with really heavy things irl but no one wants to "bring the mood down" when we are hanging out as a group. How well do we actually know each other??

My first post.

Hey,
I'm O and here's my life story.
I had a rough childhood followed with bad school experiences, relationships and got diagnosed with ADHD at a young age.
My dad used to "discipline" Me & my sister by smacking us, but left bruises that sometimes lasted up to 2 weeks, until i finally expressed my fear to my mother who then told him she would divorce him if he ever laid hands on my sister or me again.
Now he just throws things and verbally assaults me.
i had 2 cats.
I grew up learning French & English at the same time but my French has abandoned me from lack of speaking it.
When i started going to kindergarden i had to learn Dutch.
it took me about a year-ish to understand most of the Dutch language
(I'm still no pro at it)
kindergarden was great i had a lot of fun and the kids accepted me for me.
after first grade we moved close to a different school and i had to leave everything and everyone that i knew behind.
when we moved, the first weeks were fine until school started which meant second grade was waiting for me.
Since my previous experience was good with school i thought, why would it be different here right? 
No, the first week was fine but then once everyone got used to the new girl, everything went downhill.
The teachers weren't as nice or understanding as the other school was to my lack of understanding Dutch let alone speaking it.
Teachers weren't nice to me, kids wouldn't come near me and this went on till 3rd year (which i had to do twice cause of math)
The teacher was so nice and understanding of my situation that she took the time to help me with everything and i mean the language, the writing, the speaking, hell she even helped me with math!
When i had to re-do my third year, i got medication for my ADHD which i then had to take twice a day if i remember correctly.
My parents went to talk to my teacher one day after school to tell her about me needing reminding to take my medication, and she said she'd bring it to me during lunch period.
the medication helped a lot with concentrating in class but kids still didn't like me and i was still the "outcast". this basically went on until sixth grade. only i started getting bullied badly to the point where some days, I'd come home with gum in my hair or I'd get spat on in class or id get there tiny balls of paper "shot" at me that they had been chewing on in they're mouths.
One of my cats had died in sixth year, it broke me.. her name was Jade.
when i had finally finished sixth year, I was exited to go to middle school.
My Dutch was so much better and i thought of this as a new beginning in the world of school. "New school, new experience." i said.
and i was right, but not in the way i thought i was going to be.
The first day i was there i was being judged left & right by boys & girls.
I made my first friends that day though, one of them became my best friend.
The teachers were cool i guess but nothing else mattered to me cause i had a best friend, a real best friend!!
Months had passed and my best friend and I had arranged sleepovers at each others  already and had been to each others house numerous times. 
The second year i was at that school my other cat had died, her name was Tipper.
We buried her next to Jade that night.
My friend came over the next day and she managed to help me set my thought on something else.
the next weeks were pretty hard but then, Smoes was given to us by a stranger. 
Smoes is a British shorthair and has a Blue color. 
that second year i got seriously bullies for behaving differently to the point i started Harming Myself.
then i left that school but the friendship i had with my best friend didn't end there.
We still saw each other every week in the beginning but towards the end we grew apart.
When i switched schools, i went to a farmers school and decided I'd go for the coarse that includes animals because who doesn't love animals.
one year into that coarse and i got bullied out, so i went for the plant coarse instead.
I ended up doing that coarse for 5 years, had amazing friends & teachers and terrible friends & teachers.
The first year i went to that school, i would always be alone on the playground until one day, this sweet lady walked over and said; "Hey, I've seen you stand in that same spot for a couple weeks now, why is that?" i told her the kids didn't like me and that i didn't have any friends, to which she replied; "well, consider me your first friend." she then just stood next to me in Silence with her 1L bottle of Spa water and sipped her bottle every now and then.
The next day she asked my name, i told her my name she told me hers and ever since that day i wasn't alone anymore.
She had this really soft but happy voice and very kind face and a great way with words like she knew exactly what to say and when to say it.
i then confessed to her that i saw her as my "at school mom" were my exact words.
she then decided to "adopt" me at school.
We had lunch together in the library and talked about things we had on our minds.
i told her about my ADHD, anxiety, Depression and my Self-harm.
she then asked if that was why i always wore sweaters and jeans even in the summer.
i replied "you noticed?" she tilted her head and said "of course i noticed"
She was my favorite person i had ever met. and i still love her we still talk every now and then.
one day though, my old class, from the animal coarse, had found out i was self harming and the second i got dropped off at school. called me a "cutting machine" and told me to "cut deeper" & "hang yourself" i went to the director crying and he then told me he was a child psychologist and helped me calm down. 
it worked for a while but one day it all became to much and i took my pencil sharpener apart at school and ran to the bathroom and i cut... i cut through 2 layers of skin.. it was pure white, no blood and it didn't hurt. then it started to bleed and a drop of blood hit he floor of the Toilet stall. i decided to go to the secretary and ask for a plaster, a big one. they asked why and a teacher i had never seen before said "i think she cut herself or something" but in a worried way, they asked to see it and i just grabbed the plaster and left back for the bathrooms, but they were closed. so i hid in the the room where they have a bed for people who feel sick and neem a lie down.
i hid there for an hour and then went back to class, i sat on the floor for Religion class and one of my friends could see that i had been crying and asked to see my arm. i looked him in the eyes and told him i fucked up. that day was the last time i ever cut myself.. it was the 1st of February 2018
i went to the dokter after school who then told me it should have been stitched but it had been longer than 6 hours so i had to let it heal like a scab.. this scar it very much visible and often gives me flashbacks to that day..
now I'm 3years 11Months and 10Days clean and I'm proud of myself for it.
i used to regularly think about suicide now i think about it much less..
Later that week of my last cut, i had a breakdown and i messaged my favorite teacher to come to the bathroom of the lunch area when everyone had left. and i just broke down crying after i had locked myself up in one of the stalls, she came in. heard me cry and begged me to come out because she was worried about me. i came out and the first thing she did was hold me tight..
we stood there for quite a while.. 
after that day things got better, i went to a psychologist for 2years who then told me i was hopeless. (never went again)
and then i left school and went to a second chance school instead it was a school kind of for adults. and I'm doing my second year there now.
My grandpa died the second Wednesday of august.
and now, here i am, telling my life story to a bunch strangers.
i don't even know if anyone is going to read this but here goes nothing.
Thanks for your time..

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts