This room I’m in
stale walls, torn wallpaper
your phone rings
you don’t answer, you just leave
my cheek still feels his fist
my eyes remember your face
but all I hear is your whispers
and they grin
My rant turned into a poem of sorts.
I work with special needs as a teacher’s aide, and I just need a break. I’ve already been hit one too many times and I feel pressured to act a certain way around my coworkers in my department just to fit in. I hate that I’m the newest and youngest in my department, and because of that I feel like I can’t speak out. I feel like all that I do isn’t enough. And I hate that I constantly feel like my coworkers, including the head of my department, are gossiping about me. They always talk about others when I’m around, and talk about each other when the other isn’t around, so why wouldn’t they talk about me, too? There isn’t really any support from the higher-ups either.
I hate that I can’t just clock-in and clock-out without all the drama, it’s so stupid and immature. And I’m the young one. Our classroom is already stressful enough with students that have different needs and behaviors and trying to accommodate them to the best of our abilities, but they [coworkers] have to go and create a hostile work environment.