This one time a guy coerced me into sexting him. I don’t know why I agreed to it, it felt like I owed him. All my education about consent went to drain. I feel guilty that I continued talking to him after this.
Cut to six months later he asked me out, I agreed but he never showed up claiming a medical emergency, which I know for a fact is true but he never gave me a heads up.
I stopped talking to him after that. Until I lost my grandmother, and he comforted me through it. I asked him out, he rescheduled and cold turkey since then. He keeps treating me like option but I don’t know why I can’t seem to get over him. How the hell can I fall for someone so toxic, someone I have never met.
I have self esteem issues and that is a fact. What bothers me is no one will see/desire me the way he does, and hence I keep going back to him.
Don’t go to someone who’s toxic, and stop putting yourself down,
For him you are just a backup hookup where he can get laid if there is no one, you have to let him go
And you’ll find many people who will find you desireable
You should block him out of your life completely and move on. Learn how to love yourself before you expect someone else to love you. Understand that only you will be in your life forever. Work on yourself and you’ll see the change in your life.
Its unfair that the world around you has made you feel that you are undesirable to everyone except for this one guy. Dont go out seeking relationships or partners, develop your interests, your career, your personality and you’ll find someone on the way. While you’re on to it, have some pretty good friends too. Your self esteem should depend on your actions and your thoughts about yourself, not on how desirable are you to opposite sex.
You should tell him this is the way you feel, and if he doesn’t has a very proper reason, or doesn’t want to change, you should drop him. But talk to him first!