This is ventingā¦Some may think that with postivityā¦a mindset can be changedā¦I also believe this as wellā¦howeverā¦
Okayā¦I feel that my luck is very shitty. I try to be a positive person. Always have tried despite my short-comings and bad happeningsā¦I sometimes have stupid shit happen to meā¦as well as anyone I supposeā¦but i feel a disproportionate amount of dumb-luck hits me aggressivelyā¦despite how hard I try to be someone who tries things and looks towards positivityā¦
I grew upā¦having been molestedā¦but okā¦not trying to be a sob storyā¦but I always believed that no matter what was happening to meā¦I was normal and because my father was doing that to meā¦we were normal besides the things he did to meā¦I tried to be postiviteā¦somehow down the line I kept trying despite stupid shit happening to meā¦like breaking my ankle during skatingā¦having a scar to bearā¦just to remind me of how stupid I can be sometimesā¦also dealing with poor self-imageā¦being mixed and not fitting in with others because of my hair typeā¦so I have damage to my hair because of itā¦i just felt more and more angryā¦deep insideā¦to where now I feel So bitter with lifeā¦but i try not to believe it is my faultā¦but also have shitty luck
I also believe that it is due to when my mother and I woyld quarrelā¦she would always sayā¦i would always have bad luck for disrespecting herā¦weāve had out battles when i was growing upā¦and now im an adult but i still believe that my shit luck also derives from thisā¦i try to recitify itā¦but somehowā¦i just feel like Iām always doomed to failā¦im really falling apartā¦becauseā¦i feel that there is some kind of karma on meā¦ Even though not all the bad things that have happened to me are my faultā¦but I try to deal with it anywayā¦but I am bitter about it nowā¦somehow i feel that no matter how hard I try I always have a karma over meā¦so much so i just feel im better off not in this world
