This is venting…Some may think that with postivity…a mindset can be changed…I also believe this as well…however…
Okay…I feel that my luck is very shitty. I try to be a positive person. Always have tried despite my short-comings and bad happenings…I sometimes have stupid shit happen to me…as well as anyone I suppose…but i feel a disproportionate amount of dumb-luck hits me aggressively…despite how hard I try to be someone who tries things and looks towards positivity…
I grew up…having been molested…but ok…not trying to be a sob story…but I always believed that no matter what was happening to me…I was normal and because my father was doing that to me…we were normal besides the things he did to me…I tried to be postivite…somehow down the line I kept trying despite stupid shit happening to me…like breaking my ankle during skating…having a scar to bear…just to remind me of how stupid I can be sometimes…also dealing with poor self-image…being mixed and not fitting in with others because of my hair type…so I have damage to my hair because of it…i just felt more and more angry…deep inside…to where now I feel So bitter with life…but i try not to believe it is my fault…but also have shitty luck
I also believe that it is due to when my mother and I woyld quarrel…she would always say…i would always have bad luck for disrespecting her…we’ve had out battles when i was growing up…and now im an adult but i still believe that my shit luck also derives from this…i try to recitify it…but somehow…i just feel like I’m always doomed to fail…im really falling apart…because…i feel that there is some kind of karma on me… Even though not all the bad things that have happened to me are my fault…but I try to deal with it anyway…but I am bitter about it now…somehow i feel that no matter how hard I try I always have a karma over me…so much so i just feel im better off not in this world
