Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

This is the final part of the story which continues till the present.
If you haven’t read other three parts then visit my profile and read them as they are interrelated.
This part is titled Final Breakdown and Maturity.
This is the most shocking and strange part of my story…
Here it begins…

But this was not the worst.The worst was yet to come.After 6 aug I wasn’t able to meet her and
was totally gone in her thoughts.Also I got stopped in my semester exams and got an year
back.So on Christmas I decided to message her and ask her to meet me.She replied “Why?”
I told that I want to tell her something about her studies.She agreed to meet but on one
condition that she will come with her sister.It was planned that we would meet in noon but no
reply from her came.In the evening I decided to drink with my college friends as i was
thoroughly disappointed.I drank a lot that day and was seriously out of control.I was thinking of
her all the time in my booze state.
Me and my friend Rawat stepped out of the bar to enjoy a walk,beside the bar there was a
restaurant where I saw her.
At first I thought that its an illusion but I saw her sister also.She came there with her family: her
two sisters and brother in law(Jija).
As we were inebriated to a great extent,I stood still in front of her.She saw me and smiled.But i
stood there.My friend asked me why we are standing here.I told him pointing towards her “Vo
dekho tumhari bhabhi”.My friend who was out of control shouted rubbish things.Her brother in
law came and started arguing with us.He hit my friend.I also hit him and we both started hitting
together.Her sister called police and me and my friend were arrested.
We were put in jail where our phones and wallet were taken.Rest of our friends started
searching for us.Soon they reached the police station and started requesting the inspector to
leave us.I somehow got sober and realized the value of freedom.I decided that after getting out from jail I will ask her that
why she didn’t told her family that she knows me.
My friends were successfully able to release me from prison.I messaged her about the matter
and she said that sb aap ki glti hai.
I said tumne kyu ni btaya apne ghr pe.
She replied that ki aap ni smjhoge.I messaged her “tmhare lye jail gye maar khae,kabhi
sochna kyu kia itna tumhare liye” and BLOCKED her.
From that day I decided to quit alcohol.Whole january I sat idle.My friends introduced me to
another girl.I talked with her for some days but Wasn’t able to forget my pure love.I missed
college as there was no college that days.I was having some backlogs I decided to clear them.I
joined a coa where I got to know about exams like SSC JE GATE.I was fascinated by tha
aftermaths of these exams.Till now I was a kuen ka medhank.I started preparation for these
exams and decided to make a comeback by cracking these in first attempt.
One day I got and offer from her sister who talked to me on whatsapp for a movie.Now the
movie was Dhadak.She also came.I was seeing her after 7 months.I was surprised.She was not
looking towards me in the whole journey from our locality to mall.Thanks to my ambivert nature,I
asked her “Do you hate me?”She replied no but I kept on saying I see hatred in your eyes,
What’s the reason…
In the hall She sat right beside me and told me that 25 dec incident is the reason why she
started disliking me.I explained to her that U was on alcohol that day and now I have dropped it
completely.
One thing more I got to know that she has again failed in her exams.I also got to know about the
restrictions which are imposed on her.She can’t go outside for enjoying,everytime pardah and
blah blah.
slowly started realizing that my and her worlds are different.But my love remained the same
and I was having a sign of relief that hatred for me in her heart is completely finished.
I rejoined college with an aim to restore my lost respect and bounce back by cracking GATE.20
days later birthday of one of our common friends came and I met her again.
We enjoyed again.I think she knew that I like her but never responded anything.I took them to a
restaurant and also gave an ice cream treat to them.She was behaving very nicely with me.The
evening ended with me watching her gracefully.
Somedays later my bday came and her sister wished me on her behalf.I was very happy.Her
sister asked me for a treat and I agreed.
I stopped for a while.I thought that ki if I would meet her again same one sided feelings would
be generated from me which is of no use.So I took a patthar dil decision of Postponing the plan
and eventually cancelling it.
I have not met her since 14 aug.But I am happy that I have became mature and approximately I
have moved on also.
But sometimes her thoughts strike my mind and immediately I see her and mine pic.
Love is not about achieving, its about sacrificing for satisfaction of the beloved.
I don’t have her no.
She is not on any social media
She is completely lost from my reach but she is completely in my mind
I would not love any girl more than her in my future.
Writing nearly after one and a half year, there’s nothing much that happened in my life related to
her.As discussed above I started preparing for competitive exams and joined a coaching in New
Delhi.I went on weekends to Delhi and returned to Lucknow on Monday.After an year of
hardwork I got 1442 rank in GATE.But since maturity was stepping in I took a final call of
breaking up with the girl who liked me.I told her the truth that I doesn’t love her and broke up.
Meanwhile I found her(my her) on Instagram I followed her and to my surprise she followed me
back.On 30 May 2020,I gathered the courage to propose her.I literally expressed all my feelings
in front of her in Instagram chat.I told her everything the liking,the trauma etc.She said that I am
betraying with that girl and she is going to tell truth to her.I also messaged her that I have got a
job and I am proposing for marriage and I’ll sort out the Hindu Muslim matter.But she denied my
proposal by saying that she has a boy friend.I promised her that I’ll never message her again
and wished her good luck in life.
I failed in my first love.I can’t forget her.

Here comes the problem I still can’t forget her.I talked to her sister also and said that I am stable and keep her happy.I also think that she lied that she has a boyfriend just to avoid me as her sister told me that she just likes someone.So I request you to help me by suggesting what should I do now?