This is probably dumb but I was wondering about this one feeling I had and I was wondering if anyone knew about this too. I was playing this fps when I was startled a lot by an enemy I had very bad memory’s with(I got swept by the boss) and just as this happened I felt like my vision had became super dim like I was squinting at the dead of night and I suddenly started playing near perfectly for a while and during that state I had actually cleared ALL of my thoughts which including this moment would be the second time I’ve ever done that but now I have no idea how to replicate this state. Does anyone have an idea what this state could be and how to replicate it?

Stress

There are days when we are tired and feel like giving up and then there are days where you feel determined and capable of fighting with all the obstacles. So what is that one thing that keeps you going even in the hardest of times??

Personal Win

i miss him. so much. i wish i didnt drag. i feel like we bonded together so great and everything and i had to ruin it. Its now in the past but I still cant get over how he distanced himself. I felt super sad and i just want one more conversation with him to explain myself. 😢

Cheating

I wanna share something really personal . it’s something that I can’t put it in words but I’ll try my best it’s just I’ve been fight with myself for way too long and suffering silently and it never really changes . It all happened because of my messed up lifestyle and losing self esteem during covid I had no confidence in me . So basically, I have an internet friend we have never met in real life . We started as friends but some how we became important in our regular routine. It’s like I couldn’t even sleep most nights if he wouldn’t be there on call . Just because he was always there I never could talk about other boys . Even if he was not my boyfriend he would shame me . At times I got weak and felt lonely as hell and decided to be his online gf since he was always there for me . There were times (in short) I’ve had mad anxiety I was treated like shit by my ex and at those times I used to have loads of health anxiety. He was the only person there in those days although I never met him I always treated him like a real person . He have shamed me every month since a year ( about to be ) . Now lately he started college and he is doing well without me and I haven’t been able to accept I keep crying spamming him for what ?? At the end he calls me a slut for my past and I never ever cheated on anyone . all I want is a good relationship and a good boyfriend I just want to block him and forget him and be in peace but again he was also there for me at difficult times I can’t be so selfish right ? I genuinely need help I think I’m ruining my youth !!

Anxiety

Hello 
kya bolu? 
Kuch bhi bol! Sach me?
nhi yaar ,nhi bol skta. Koi mera jaisa hoga kya?
Ho skta he log toh sab same hi hote he,
Ye toh me keh rha hu lekin log kya kahenge,
Logon ko kehene do kuch bhi.
Agar kehene denge toh kya hi hoga.
Isliye likh rha hu kuch bhi, 
Keh rha hu khudse, dekh lete karke ye experiment, jaise YouTube pe social experiment hote he vaise,
thik he padh tumne padh liya?
Toh kya lagate he ? 
Koi hoga bhoo tiya , "see ech u" nhi likh skta.
Yhi khatam krta hu.
Ye jo tune padha he ye mere dimaag ki chalte hue vichar h. 




I want to share my feelings with my parents but i have been lying to them from so long I don’t know how to tell them that I’m not happy here I’m hurt I miss them a lot I want to tell them I can’t handle it anymore but at the same time I don’t want them to be worried about me I don’t know what to do

I see so many post about looking for love or either being heartbroken. Why are you guys trying so hard to get into love ? Why not just live your life and eventually fall in love. If you keep pushing yourself to find love you will end up heartbroken. You will eventually find love but you won’t get time to live your life. It’s better you find happiness without being in a relationship first. If you only depend on happiness from dating it will leave you heart broken and it will traumatise you when they break up ( which they will do ) . 

Breakup

Here also so  some fake IDs agree or not ..?I'm telling dome

I try to understand life but I just cant. Why are we on this earth? Why do some people have mental disorders and others dont. Why was I made with a weak will but others strong? Why cant I take this mental illness? Why does it make me feel like I want to end it all but others push through it? Its not fair. I didnt ask to be here. I dont want to be here. We live in a world where people constantly put others done to lift themselves up. Where people are cruel to each other because of the color of their skin or their economic or socio status. Theres no peace here. If its not one thing then its another. The world is against human beings, or specifically the weak minded people. Like me. Why fight and struggle to be here when you can literally just put a stop to it. I dont get it at all. At this point theres nothing anyone can say to me thatll make me change my mind. I dont want to live. Im not going to kill myself. But I dont care what happens to me at all. I will continue to make these reckless decisions because who cares? People fake care all the time and honestly I think its just to make themselves feel better. They dont want to carry the guilt, even though they dont have to cause its not their guilt, or feel bad for someone else taking their life. You dont know them. Youre not going to be there to help them through their troubled time, youre just here for this very small moment to make them feel better for the next minute or hour or however long until they feel bad again. I think its a very selfish thing for someone to want someone else live for them. Why? Why do you want me to continue to go through pain the rest of my life to keep your conscious clear? I dont get it. Please please for the life in, stop telling me "youll get through it" "fight for yourself and loved ones" "people need you". I dont care. I'm just here to write my thoughts..maybe find like minded people. Or maybe even see if someone could change my mind, which I doubt. Thank you to anyone who read this. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts