Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

This is awkward! Might be a little long so thanks in advance. I grew up in a middle class muslim family in Bangladesh. Nothing very special happened till varsity. I was not competitive. It might seem strange that I was studying engineering not knowing what I want to be. I used to be a good boy, you know the typical type, listens to parent, respects teacher, work hard. I got depressed. Visited some doctor, took medication. Friends forced me into a relationship. Before that i was never been any relationship. I didn’t share to her about my depression. When she found out, she left me saying that depressed boys don’t have girlfriends. I was down for quite a while. Shared to my friends. I was literally brutalized for my feelings. So I started to become a recluse. Eventually I graduated, this time I was working hard and didn’t take care of my health. So I got sick. That took some time. During those days met a girl. I knew she was out of my league. A common friend of us told her about me, she showed interest. I liked her a lot, but I didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. So I told her everything from my depression to sickness. I thought she would go away. But she promised to be my side and she loved me as per her. Took me a little time but I fell for her. I really loved her a lot as she was okay with my downsides. Love has an amazing effect on people. I started getting better, started my own busines. And then she left me. I didn’t have a clue. I urged her and urged her, why? Her answers were not consistent enough. Until one day she told me that she was just helping me to get better, that’s all. For the past few months I studied and I worked like a zombie, if that’s a thing. Despite that, my startup closed. I was in freelancing also, things wasn’t going well there too. I was loosing sleep, I am loosing sleep. Then I remembered something from the times of counselling. To move on with life. I would not be able to tell these openly. So I am willing to move on. I think the pandemic showed us how short life is. So whatever time I have left in my bucket, I want to make the most out of it. I don’t want any sympathy. I am looking for someone with who I can be in a stable relationship. Who can really accept me with my flaws, coz I have some bright sides too. So if you are willing to take a leap of faith with me, so am I.