Things I know I shouldn’t want but for some sick reason I do:
-I want to get underage blackout drunk
-I want to be the victim of an attempted murder, just to see what it feels like when you’re dying
-I want to get pregnant before I graduate college
-I want to hurt people. Not all people, but I want to put everyone I’ve ever hated in a room, and hurt them.
-I want to pass out
-I want to feel what it’s like to run out of air
-I want to feel what it’s like to be on the brink of drowning
-I want to fling myself over the railing of my school balcony
-I want to get high, really, really high
-I want to be harassed on the street and then fight back
-I want to be tied up, beaten, tortured, and fucked roughly and brutally
-I want to get hit in the mouth during a fight so I can do that thing in the movies where they spit out blood and then kick ass
-I want to chug every single pill and chemical we have in the house, and then hang myself for good measure.
-I want to be mortally wounded and on the brink of death, but heroically rescued at the last second
-I want to smash my ukulele as hard as I can on my bullies’ heads
-I want to get a scar on my face
-I want to be involved in a traumatic experience
-I want to see a dead body
-I want to kill myself
But I’m scared to die.
