Thought

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Anonymous

There’s a girl I’ve been talking to for 3 months now. We were friends since may this year but she had a boyfriend. Over the summer we stopped talking as friends to focus on ourselves, and in that time she broke up with her boyfriend. I told her I liked her in September and like I say we’ve been talking since. We’re not official but we’ve already done everything. She suffers from mental health problems and doesn’t like to talk to people in the meantime. So I said I’d give her space and check in now and again. I started to worry I was the problem but each time I’ve asked she’s made it very clear everything’s good between us and that I’m not the problem. She went home to separate herself from uni and said she didn’t want to talk until she felt better. I wanted to talk to her about how I was feeling about all this. How shit I was feeling and she said ‘sorry I just want to enjoy being home rn’. I’d put my feelings on hold for a month for her by not talking to her and when I asked for a 10 min chat she said no. I told her she can message me when she’s ready to talk but that when we do I need to have a chat with her. She came back to uni 3 days ago and hasn’t messaged yet but also isn’t going out to meet people so clearly still upset. How do I talk to her about how I feel if she won’t let me, especially since the Christmas holidays are at the end of next week and we will both be going hone for about a month. Please help :/

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9 replies
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Anonymous

I think I’d be able to cope better if there weren’t just weird things that she does. Like at the very start, she’d removed me from her private story on Snapchat, and shes met with other people since we last spoke. It just confuses me that she has the energy to meet other people but doesn’t have the energy to even talk to me. And thank you for the response x

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Anonymous

This is like my situation buddy. I mean I’m in relationship nd we did everything but when we parted our ways to opt different career. Then I realized tht whatever we did was wrng nd tht burden is too much for me. I blamed him for everything jst to put myself at ease but now I’m unable to.We r not in talking terms rn bcz I have stopped talking to him. So please understand her maybe she did everything with u but when she went home maybe she didn’t wanted tht things to happen. It’s burdening her that’s why she is ghosting u like this.i can totally understand her. Its bttr for u to move on. Find someone who loves u.

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Anonymous

I get that, but like we didn’t second guess anything, we made sure we didn’t do anything we’d regret. Before she stayed over she said she wanted to wait until she was sure it was the right thing to do. A huge detail I’ve left out of all this is that she did this whole same thing with her ex boyfriend. It’s literally just how she copes with things. It’s not ghosting it’s classed as ‘stonewalling’. I just don’t know how to get through to talk that’s all. She would have said if I was a problem and if she didn’t want to talk anymore to me, because she did with her ex. And I’ve told her to just tell me if that’s the case. My problem is just knowing if I should wait, when it’s not really fair to me to just wait around for months til she feels like talking, but I also could wait and then we can continue with the stuff between us x

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Anonymous

Its bttr to move on… This situation is stuck and will never move frwrd … U will be hanging in this situation and won’t be able to enjoy your life so its bttr to forget all this nd move on

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