The urge to delete all the social media accounts and stop talking to everyone....because its just so hard to understand people...it feels so heavy inside...I really don't want any friend or anyone in my life...have been betrayed alot of times...that Its so hard for me to trust anyone....

Best of luck buddy...havs a great time with yourself...

I can understand yaar social media and all this is bullshit 

Confusion

I deserve to be hurt

Depression

Arey tan tana tan tan tara

Music

Everything is strange like how ppl change so easily like a moment ago they wants u n a when u need them the most they just simply back off&starts to ignore u for others . It's like for them u were just a toy to play with till they get a better one. It's strange how ppl who matters to the most r the ones who backstab and leave u at ur worst & abandons u . 
What more strange is life n this stupid heart of mine which never listens to me n it's action always leads me into trouble which I can never imagine.
I have alot of regrets, but what I regrets the most is idea of being alive when I'm all dead inside.
Happiness and innocence just fade away with time and to be honest I troubled alot throughout my childhood both physically and mentally n even growing didn't bring any peace to my life . Now I'm more exposed to darkness, loneliness then I have been ever before. These days I'm just suffering to mental traumas and ppl around me, passing days n lockdown stuff only contributed to worst. 
I hope to stay strong but it's really hard all I wanted was a one good day which can give me a ray of hope to keep on going but all I get was totally opposite to it. I'm scared to life, breathe and trust and no one understands it they just simply blame be for being over sensitive.

Hey , guys I just wanna share something with you . I had a friend . In my opinion she is toxic and dragging me down ,so I decided to avoid her . Cause she made it clear many times that she doesn't care about me except herself and her more toxic boyfriend who was also my friend at some point . She never took responsibility for anything , always acting like damsel in distress . Always asking help in the matters that associated with her father . Like I was always there to help her out , if she asks help even now , I will help but it's not for friendship. I will help her because I will get irritated by her words or else I ignore her . But it's only me who gives and she never helps in any situation .I don't know why I even associate with her . 
So , I was avoiding her since I went to college . I even didn't talk to her for 6 months . I didn't reply her messages . In mean time pandemic started . I was feeling lonely . I become so sad thinking that I may not have any soulmate or that kind of strong bonded friendship . I have friends , but not many . I am " quite and minding your own business" type , so I have a really small friend circle . I was feeling really low that time and I was trying to overcome that phase. Then again she texted me . After 2 days struggle , I replied . That I was in I don't care mode and I thought whatever comes in your way try taking advantage of it . Then again started msg, long conversations in phone . Then as usual started toxicity of her and there is also her boyfriend . So I decided to again avoid her and this time I am going to do nothing . I will not give proper reply , won't meet with her , avoid conversations . I really want her out of my life . 

She is like I don't like that she is so beautiful , don't be friends with her anymore . Like bitch this is my life , I can be with who I want . She also told me she became friends with me because she is more pretty than me so , when boys watch us , they will look at her more . There was a time I replied her msg properly , but she will be like you don't msg me why I have to msg you first . When I hang out with other friends , she called and started blaming that I always ignore her , I always hang out with other but never with her . She never told me to go out with her at that time . But whenever two of us go out , she will call her boyfriend and she will not give a glance towards me . Like what the hell , what I am , a toy ? She hates everybody who is better than her . She want to continue our friendship because I am ugly , avarage in studies , hair is in boycut and any other way worse than her . I think she is dragging me down . 
What you guys think about her ? What things I should do ? 
I am going to cut her off completely out off my life , despite of what other people say .

Friends

Have yall ever loved someone sooo much?
I see a kind soul in his eyes, i see a sparkle and shine. 
His voice is another level I promise, it is so warm and relaxing. 
His hair is so fluffy that i wanna play with it all the time. 
But omg the I forgot the best part, his smile. You know, that smile he make while talking to me, it’s so bright that he gets dimples while smiling at me. 
His hands are warm, but different there is something magical about them. Something i never have seen before. 
I love his personality too, he’s s funny, loyal, kind, he jokes a lot and laugh a lot but he is respectful and nice too. 
I wanna tell everybody about him, i wanna talk about that kind of strange light or allectristy i see in him. It feels like a dream to talk with him. I love everything about him. 
Well he is gone now :)

Love

jī DhūñDtā hai phir vahī fursat ki raat din 
baiThe raheñ tasavvur-e-jānāñ kiye hue 

(Again this heart seeks those days of leisure as of yore..
Sitting just enmeshed in thoughts of my paramour..)

3am Thoughts

Have you ever been in "forbidden love" situation that worked out? If it did/didn't, what happened?

Now&Me Activities

Having a hard time accepting the way I look. No matter how hard I try, I just can't embrace my dark complexion. I have had people speak rudely about the way I look, especially my complexion but I really want to feel pretty. Can you help me? Do you find dark complexion pretty?

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts