Dreams

Is it alright if i fall in love again ? Without even healing properly from the previous wounds (over that person though)? Cant i stop myself ? Is it alright if i am afraid to get hurt again ? Or is it even love at this stage ? 

Crush

That's me

3am Thoughts

My eating disorder is relapsing and all my months of hard work I put in eating right and going to the gym is going to vain. I don't know how to stop myself from binging and crying. 

I'm feeling extremely hopeless, I am scared I'll give up on myself completely again and go back into that pathetic hole of self loathe. 

It's just too scary and nobody understands. Even if I share with you all, you might relate and give me advice but I'm losing hope that I'll do anything to stop myself if this keeps happening. 

In the end, it's me who has to put a full stop to this. Like I've done before.

Body Dysmorphia

A friend in need is a friend indeed???

Is it true? I use to listen to everyone's problem, I use to help them, solve their problems but when it came to my difficult time I don't have anyone atleast to listen.

Yes I don't have anyone to share my issues, feeling so low and I'm tried of being lonely, one side my husband stolen my bangles but not admitting, also acting as if nothinghappened. one side my parents r stressed and they keep on talking about same topic. Other side my heart is broken into peaces,  and no is even noticing, every night I force my eyes and sleep and get up with bad headaches.

Is what a girl wished to be, is it what she is Born for

Lonely

Ek ladki hai...College ke pehle din hi jab voh aai mere saamne matlab mene sirf yeh notice kiya ki ek ladki mere baaju me bethi hai aur naa mene uska chehra dekha naa mujhe uska naam pata tha, lekin jab voh mere baaju me bethi thi tab mujhe andar se ghabrahat, darr feel hua jaise Lisa (evil spirit) in 1920 Hindi movie got afraid of Hanuman Chalisa, vaise hi mujhe afraid feel hua jab voh mere saamne aai.
So is it love or something else? Verify your answer? If yes, then why yes and if no, then why no?

Love

I want to disclose something very bad to me and my family.
12 saal pehle mere bhai ne bhaga kar shaadi ki. Jisse shaadi ki wo haryana ki aheer(yadav community) thi.

Mera bhai indian airforce main kaam krta tha abhi Sargent hai. Aur jo ladki bhaagi thi wo kuch nhi krti sirf graduation ki thi.

Uss ladki ne shaadi ke 12 saal tak mere bhai se milne nhi diya kisi ko. Jab mere mummy ICU main pahunchi tab papa ke inform krne pr aaya seedha hospital aur 2 ghante main nikal gya. 
Riste main to wo bhabhi lagti hai lekin bhabhi wale ek bhi character nhi hai. Jab ghr pr ayi thi to mene poocha kaha se ho to lath wali language main boli kya krna hai. Aur jawaab nhi diya. Jab ek din bhateje ke birthday main sabse baat ki aur mujhe chod diya to mene poocha mujhe kyu chek diya to kehti hai tum khud jaano in very rude language.

Ab jab papa retire hue to papa ka paisa aaya. Aur papa ne ek property kareedi. Hum inform krna chahte to wo phone hi nhi utha rhi. Kab mene phone kiya apne phone se recent Sunday yeh soch kr ki bhai se baat hogi. To wo phone utha kr kehti hai ki wo nhi hai. Mujhse kehti hai agar apne bhai se baat krni hai to mujhse 1000 baar request krni hogi. Bahut insult ki hai tumhaare khaandaan ne aur samaaj ne. Kehti hai agar main kharab hoti to case kr deti. Tab mene kaha papa ne to bhai ko bedakhal kr rkha hai aur FIR bhi krwa rkhi hai. To bade dukh main kehti hai haa mujhe pata hai. Kehti hai koi bhai nhi uska aur nhi hai. Tum saare kharaab ho sirf wahi alag hai. Mene jab kaha ki main to sabse chota bhai hun uske balak ke saman hu to kehti hai koi bhai nhi hai. Kehti hai mujhe pr jaan nichawar krta hai. Main agar keh dungi to koi bhai nhi rahega na koj maa baap. Mene kaha yeh to mene pehle hi dekh liya tha. Uske one sided hone pr. Kehti hai koi gate se andar ghus kr dikhana. Ab aakr dikhana airforce quarter main(jaha bhai rehta hai).

Main riste Ur umar main chota hone ki wajah se kuch na bola. Warna bahut kuch aa rha tha uss ke liye.


Mera bas ek hi question hai jo bhaag kr aati hai wo saari yahi hoti hai. Maa baap ka sarkaari kamao ladka khakr unhe hi case main fasane ki dhamki de rhi hai. Jiski mehnat pr uski naukri lago hai usi aadmi ko andar ghuskr dikhane ki dhamki deti hai. 

Agar bhagwaan hora hai aur yeh dekhta hai to main yahi kahunga inn Jaiso ko wahi de jo yeh hume de rhi hai. Taakii iss buri janwar ko pta Lage kese doosro ko takleef di jaati hai. Kaise kisi ki mehnat ka fal (sarkaari naukri wala ladka) khaa jaate hai bina kuch kr hi.

Bhagwan bure se bure din dikhaaye taaki doosro ka dukh samajh aaye jo yeh k**tiya detii hai 

Anxiety

My dad used to say make lots of friends, talk to lots of people around you, listen to them, understand, and behave accordingly....
but i used to question him why? why dad 😭 ... my father replied what happened why are you crying and then i used to reply that no one likes to talk with me i tried again and again but i always fail....
then my father replied with a smile that always make friends, talk with everyone even if they are bad you need to talk because you have to learn the positive things from them then only you can bring change in you and for others also.....
after that I smiled up to the peak level....
My dad your words are so magical that it will remain till the existence of celestial Stars.... missing you from earth and i know you are living happily in heaven...

your heart,
Neel 💙 
 

To anyone, who is reading this, I hope your day is filled with happy and positive vibes. I hope you are in the best of your health, you are financially sound, your mentally stable and your calm. 
I hope your mental peace is not disturbed by anyone and you are focused to achieve your dreams. I hope you are living the best of your life 💗 
If someone/ something is bothering you, pls feel free to reply to this message,so that maybe I can help you ease out your worries and pain. 💗
And to anyone, who is not happy or unsure about something, or is looking for an end to problems in life, always remember .. "there's a light at the end of the tunnel" ... Pls do not worry, you will get there. Trust the universe and its timing. 💗

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts