Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

The announcements for the special classes were made and who ever interested were asked to join at that moment i had only one thing fixated on my mind I should somehow make him come to this classes it would extend upto 8pm in the night and sometimes 10pm which means I would get to spend more time with him than the usual and there was nothing else that had my concerns I wanted to be around him even if he wouldn’t talk to me much even if i have to wait all day for that one moment where he looks at my eyes i was ready to give anything for that anything just for that one glance everyday every morning he was the one who gave me the purpose to wakeup every evening i used to look at the clock all day long counting every minute for the morning to start so that i could go back again and live by his side people would call me crazy if they knew this kept me going through my school but i was soo crazy for him In the complicated life i was living he was the only person who made me feel alive a hope to find happiness he was like my little angel without even realising he saved me from all my misery but irony was i dint know at that time that he would be the biggest misery that I would ever come across in my life and as everyone was discussing about the spl class i sat in my place thinking how I could make him stay I can’t ask him straight he would think I’m such a flirt he would definitely freak out he’s a softie he would never even accidentally turn my side he’ll think I’m psychotic and I don’t want any of that happening i was scribbling on my paper and then there was this idea why don’t i just send him an anonymous letter I could tell him exactly what i feel without freaking him out and so i wrote a letter which goes like”hey this is your secret admirer my day always lights up by your presence and i wake up every single day with one aim that is to spend my time with you and I really hope you would come for the special classes I can’t imagine spending that many hours without you around if you wish to find who this is i hope you attend the classes” till now I have no idea how I came up with this crazy plan but they say love makes us do crazy things and I did many things that I am not very proud of it was lunch break and there were only few people in the class mostly the toppers in the front rows hitched to their books they wouldn’t turn their head back so this was the perfect time for me to place the letter in his bag it was not like I was trying to steal anything but I was so nervous I was literally shaking as if I was a walking earthquake I went to my place I stood there looking out to the door at the same time I tried placing the letter in his bag and there was something inside I knew it was his watch his favourite watch the one that straps to his hand all day long one that makes me jealous of a nonliving thing that too a machine to be precise I took that in my hand and for a moment I felt like I was holding his hands in mine God I was so pathetic or as some would say romantic i’ve never seen a watch that looks better than this it was a simple G shock watch but I was mesmerised by it how simple of a creature I am any ordinary thing when it belongs to him Its like a million year old artefact to me how could i ever love someone so much I never knew that I had it in me to love someone more than I love myself sometimes i used to think that I don’t even love myself sometimes I used to think that I am incapable of love They say that girls learn everything from the mother and they learn how it feels to be loved by a boy from the father unfortunately in my life I never had the privilege to know how it feels to really be loved by a man because I never had my father around he bailed on me and I hated myself for that When I was young sometimes I just used to think that I wouldn’t even marry that I wouldn’t find love that I’ll forever be alone in this world all by myself until I saw him the moment our eyes met i knew I knew I’m not going to spend my life alone because deep down I knew that he will be right by my side every single day for the rest of my life making it 1000 times more beautiful just then the bell rang i came to senses I’ve been dreaming in daylight with his watch in my hand in the classroom were anybody could see what I was up to with my lame letter in my hand i dropped the watch in his bag jumped to my place and sat down as if nothing happened everyone was walking in he came in walking towards me looked straight at my face as he did with the slightest curve around his lips i was too stunned to even smile back he sat next to me let out a sigh as he took the watch out of his bag I carefully watched him putting it around his wrist (you lucky bitch)i still had the letter with me i was planning to drop it in during the next break and everyone walked out my friends kept calling me out i told them i was not well they dint actually believe me tho it was not like me i would never skip breaks even if was bleeding in and out because breaks were the time i had the most interactions with him it was a short break and there were lot more students in the class but this is my last chance the name list for the special classes will be collected tomorrow and I had to make a move by today just when I was about to drop the letter into his bag there was my frnd from the next class she used to visit me during breaks and she always used to say sweet things like how good we both would look as a couple I love that girl but (this was not a good timing meenu )i literally jumped and fell down but somehow managed to place the letter in his bag I was just lying down on the floor an excitement all over my heart I really hope he comes to the classes but also I was hurt and it was paining all over my body I couldn’t even move she you came running to me “hey are you alright?” “Never felt better before” I said as she pulled me up on my feet soon the break was over and everyone returned to class and he came inside took out his book from the bag that is when I realised that the letter would fall out any moment and he would have to read it right in front of me and my face oh my face would definitely show me out He would know that it was me who put it in there I was sitting right next to him gawking at him like an idiot all day long I would be his first suspect if he finds the letter now how could I be this stupid I had no idea what to do I literally wanted to snatch his bag and throw it away through the window I prayed to literally all the gods my ancestors and every single soul that ever passed out through the leaving plane to save me from my stupidity to make sure that he doesn’t find the letter until he reaches home I couldn’t breathe i was sweating I would have even had a heart attack if only it wasn’t for the sound from Ashwin he was giggling showing something off to everyone around Ashwin was my boy’s best friend and then there it was he gave something to My boy it was a sheet of paper similar to the one that I placed In his bag holy moly that was my letter how did it even get in Ashwin‘s hand what is going on he went through the letter and passed it on without much of a reaction and then l i realised that i must have placed the letter in the wrong bag but I dint know if i was supposed to be glad that it dint end up in the right place or to sulk that he wouldn’t be attending the classes poor ashwin he was so happy thinking he had a secret admirer he should thank me for letting him have that moment
A sudden disappointment hit me he wouldn’t come to the class he always leaves home on time i messed up my last chance is to ask him to come myself but i don’t know if i had the courage to do it the last bell rang we were all leaving i bent down sitting in my place to pick my bag and pack my things both our bags were brushing each other atleast you guys have fun sometimes i used to push my bag on his and watch it throughout the day i was one mad women when i turned to keep my last book in the bag i brushed something with my nose I BRUSHED HIS HAIR oh my gooddd oh my goodddd oh my godddd his head looked up swiftly I was like “I’m sorry” (sorry not sorry XD) he said it’s okay not a problem and smiled at me he smiled at meeeee i was practically struggling to even breathe he stood up to leave and i followed behind him suddenly he stopped moving and turned to me one hand holding his bag another hand running through his hair my whole world froze “anya right?” he said i never knew my name could be pronounced this beautifully the way those word rested on lips the way it sounded in his voice the purpose of my name was fulfilled “yeah” i said barely making a sound it was all air “would you be coming to the special classes?” He asked wait a moment what the hell did he even say now did he noo did he just ask me that??all my prayers answered right there “i think so” i said litreally controlling my laughter i was screaming in my head could someone record all this pleaseee I need to prove myself that this is real and that I’m not dreaming someone anyone”well you should come I’ll also be going” he said with a little smirk (what was that for) ofcourse I’ll be there I was already planning a june wedding who was he kidding i replied with a “sure” “bye then” he said with slight nod walking out he stopped again at the door turned back gave me one of his mesmerising soft smile and left i was stuck in the spot couldn’t move all i could do was laugh I was physically paralysed there it was my hopes to our happily ever after I dint realise that there was more than one way to end a story back then i was too much deep in love to even realise that there is a possibility where he wouldn’t be mine ……let me know if wanna know what happened next