Tangled situations which looked unsolvable seems to be untangling slowly. Scared to feel happy as it's not the end and might go wrong in between. 

Hoping for the best.

Hope

So. My boyfriend of two years doesn't understand a joke. So he told me why don't u do this course which will cos u around 1lakh. Despite knowing my parents won't be able to afford it. So I jokingly said why don't u sponsor me? He said i don't have that much money. But he has been working for the past 2years and his salary is around 30k. So u can imagine how much he has. So i told him that i was joking nd not seriously asking for his money. To which he replied that everyone knows u don't want to study so no one is supporting u. 🙂 so is it my fault? I was not seriously asking money from him. 

Frustration

Only thing which keepe close to her is love and mine look in the thing which keep her with me..
Whenever she is with me, i act everything is fine, but inside i m literally suffering from the things i want to forget, but i am running from them from a long time, suffering from those wounds which can't be healed in this life....

Life

I am annoyingly sensitive these days. I don't know why I feel like that.I end up saying something stupid to people I care about and I want to do something productive but it ends up hurting them and I hate myself for it.I want to do something productive but I have zero energy to do something.

Anxiety

I think my life has been paused for the past three years. I only do study and then sleep. Same day same life. Everything seems boring now.

Overthinking

I just had a second baby. We were barely making it through before that. But now it's even harder. A few more days and I might be flat broke. I am the sole earning member in my family. My job pays well but it's just not enough.

Work

The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruits!

3am Thoughts

Is suicide really selfish?

Other

I just feel super invalidated. One of my jaw popped and I suspect it was because of my habit of biting my blankets everyday for comfort and my jaw got tired overtime. The thing is, I feel like my parents doesn't seem to care about my mental wellbeing and just brought up something else that could cause my urge to bite stuff (they said it was a symptom of worm congestion in my gut).fact or cap doesn't matter, that statement just made me feel super invalidated. My mental wellbeing has been deteriorating since I started online school. When I confronted my parents about this and asked them whether the things I'm going through are valid or not, they just said something like "well buddy, I cant say its valid or not". Maybe they're right, but my jaw literally popped! I thought that's enough "injury" to fulfill my validation. I've also had some stress related symptoms like Hives, skin picking around my lip area, heck I even suspect that I have ADHD and movement disorders. Some of the symptoms I've had are being messy, forgetful, restlessness and fidgeting, impulsiveness, and more! I've also confronted this to my friends, but they're no different than me. They're as broken as me and didn't give me any useful solutions. I can't get help because I'm still a freshman in high school and all of my pocket money are beyond my control. I just want validation.
sorry It's too long and makes zero sense I tend to babble nonsense when I'm trying to describe my feelings :,)

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