taking a long walk alone and going back the memory lane gives you a different kind of happiness

Happy

Muj se aur bardash nahi hota....

3am Thoughts

I'm so restless rn I woke up with headache and feeling dizzy but I was fine moodwise 
Slowly it became hard to do everything coz idk I feel like everything is moving slow I can't do anything I can't meditate or focus maybe I'll go for run but can u suggest me something helpful 🥺

Stress

Missing my love ♥️ 
Hope she's fine and healthy 

Love

Sense of responsibility comes from heart 
Being perfect is fire 🔥 of being it every time

Meditation

So I am in last year of my engineering college and hoping to get placed , but I didn't do anything in my four years of engineering and feel like a loser . Everyone in my friend circle is placed and I'm the only one left out. I had been having anxiety issues and depressive episodes for quite some time but it amplified during the lockdown period. I somehow talked to my parents about it and went to a psychotherapist, but apart from taking medicines I don't find any worth in the treatment because I'm not able to share what I actually feel. I am having trouble with my attitude towards life in general , as a result I have misplaced priorities even now . I don't feel serious about anything these days , nothing to look forward tomorrow. I just feel sorry for myself to be stuck in the same loop about being unproductive , feeling ashamed of myself for being unproductive and then try to change but run out of motivation in 2-3 days and back to the shell. I get angry easily these days . I just don't want to feel it this way or be this way. Those 'what if i just end it myself ' thoughts come to mind and go . I don't know what I am doing or where I am going to be , the future seems blur. I'm hopelessly optimistic about finding a job very easily without any hardship because I study in a very reputed college and part of the creamy layer in this country . I just don't find any motivation these days and simple tasks are overwhelming. I lead a non healthy lifestyle , I sleep very late in the night and wake up late without any seriousness. I have low self esteem and this has impacted me many times. Sometimes all I hope is if I am allowed to die by my family I would happily accept it. I feel world and I would be better if my family comes to terms with me not being a part of it and let me go. The only reason I feel I'm alive is because I'm afraid of dying or committing suicide. I just wish I had the courage to do that. I don't want to bother anyone in my life. 

Suicidal Ideation

I just emailed Meredith. ￼

I woke up from my bed and took a shower after 4 days, feeling better. Thank you Now&Me for this platform. I cant believe a bunch of strangers on the internet helped me so much 

Life

Ever since the pandemic happened, I haven't had a real social connection. I feel all alone and it might help if I can connect with some. Because of that desperation I came here. Any want to talk share things on a periodic basis. I would really love to do that.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts