Success is when your idols become your rivals????
It’s when all your haters criticise you and you ace all your challenges and you keep there mouth shut ???? 

Success has more to do with personal growth and being one with yourself. Haters will always hate and one should focus on self actualisation and not what is a result of that or how it negatively affects negative people in general 

That's one way to see it. Other is like success is when you are satisfied with where you are. Its just a point of view. 

Happy

My zindagi is utho, taiyaar ho, college jaao, 10 se 2:30 college me raho, niklo, coaching jaao, 3 se 5 coaching me raho, 6 baje tak wapas aao. Khana khao, aur bas phone chalane lag jaao. Bas yahi zindagi reh gayi hai.

3am Thoughts

All eyes were glued to her
All lips were telling stories about her
All hands pointing fingers to her
Her,
Who have never met anyone in her entire life
Her,
Who never talked to anyone
Her,
Who barely look at anyone
Her,
Who notice every single glare yet ignore
Her,
Who listen to every story yet ignore
Her,
Who tremble everytime someone points her walking through streets
She never spoke 
She tried
She tried a lot
But failed..
Failed every single time.
She asked..
She asked why?
Why her?
Why only her?
But to whom?
Only to darkness.
She trembled 
She cried
She screamed
She fainted
She failed
She failed every single time..





I want to add some habits to my routine to build some discipline 

1. Study 4 - 5 hrs per day
2. Cook 1 meal every day 
3. 20 mins exercise everyday 
4. Prayer every evening (Bible reading)
5. Meditation before bed just to clear my thoughts 


Since I am new here, I am going to do a run down on my life. When I was born, my parents were together for a little while, then they split. My mom got custody and I would see my dad on Wednesday and every other weekend. Sometimes, he wouldn't show up. For the next few years, he was on and off and he would spoil rotten. Skip forward a few years, my grandpa died from lung cancer. We were really close too. A little bit after that, my step dad and my mom got together. I went from being an only child to having two siblings. We grew up. At age 10, I started to like girls. At age 11, I came out as lesbian. (Because at this time, I was a girl). Then I kept switching between Bisexual and Lesbian and Omni and Pan. I just couldn't figure it out. All I knew was, I was not normal. My sixth grade year, I started questioning my gender.  At that point, I liked any gender. I started to go by she/they. I didn't like it. And I didn't know why. That year, I befriended a lesbian. I fell in love with her. But, she was dating someone. I fell in love with someone else. There was a lot of stuff. And at one point, we kissed, then she turned on me. She hated me. Then, we became friends again. Then I had to switch schools. I started to cut. I got so depressed. I got a crush on yet another girl. She likes someone else. At this time, I had done shoved down that feeling. But, it reserfused. I took quizzes and each time, I wished that male would show up. I took that as a sign, and the more I think about it, I feel so uncomfortable as a female. So, now I currently Identify as a Omnisexual Male. 

Growing Up

Tenu takeya ...hosh te udd gye...
Garam garam chaii.....hath te dhul gye

I just want to be able to let go.
I’m tired of always feeling left out and always being the second choice when it come to friends. I get close to someone and we tell each other everything but it always result in one of these: they find someone else , I’m always left out, I’m just the side friend now, drift , they talk about me behind my back , they are toxic. I always wonder “why am I never good enough , what’s wrong with me” but I never seem to do anything but love them and be goofy and close and fun, and my boyfriend always has to tell me that I’m not the problem. My boyfriend is my bestfriend, I just want a girl bestfriend that will actually stay by my side , not make me question if I’m good enough. Im legit scared from last friendships, I always overthink that my friends are talking bad about me , or that they are mad at me even if I didn’t do anything, but they never seem to understand it. They never ask how I am, or check up on me even thought I tell them I overthink.Sure I have some good friends now but I’m so scared to be so close, I’m just gonna end up getting hurt by the ones I try to love. 

Friends

I am dealing with a very traumatic situation and would like to talk to someone about it.  The thoughts bouncing around in my head make it difficult to focus on anything else and actually cause quite a great deal of pain.  Talking about it has helped in the past but my close friends are asleep at the moment and I also don't have more than a couple who I would feel comfortable opening up to.  Definitely 18 + only, please. 

The stressful situation isn't an emergency or anything that initially comes to mind when reading the first sentence.  It just involves close friends, living situations, and typical but traumatic things that happen in typical relationships, friendship and other.  I've always found that I can't deal with those thoughts in my head without hearing them out loud and have always had someone to talk to about them up until right now.

First time using the site, so apologies if this is not what this is for or I am inadvertently breaking any unknown rules

’ve tried every way to let yu know that I’m not here for yuh and I love yuh so much bt I’ve tried all the ways I know and all the ways yuh asked , bt when i speak when I express to yuh when i vent to yuh, I’m not heard and I’m just looked as if I’m grateful and blind or as if I’m being mean and hurtful or that I only see the bad and never the gudd, bt that’s not true. 

Is it me ? How do I get yuh to see, hear, feel me . Am I wrong? To expect yuh to know when, what upsets me after all this time together ? Do I ask for to much ? To get yuh genuinely ask me what’s wrong and actually mean it like make me feel like yuh actually see me and see that I need yuh and I need communication. Have I been to nice? When I speak and bitch right at the sec or when I let yuh wait all day or all week b4 yuh ask me what’s wrong and by then I don’t wanna talk abt it. Is this my fault? Should i just be expressing my self at all times at all cost no matter the situation or outcome. 

I just wanna be able to talk to yuh and feel like I am be heard. I wanna have a conversation and feel like it means something and eventually ripple into something else. I wanna express things so badly sooo badly and not feel like I’m grateful for speaking or I’m a bitch for feeling or that I’m crazy for thinking. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts