Sometimes, you need to give up on people. Not because you don't care, but because they don’t. 

Friends

I am confused , I don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend or not , there's no proper reason but I feel he isn't the one and maybe I feel such way because the last guy I was in love with was my best friend and I loved him with all my heart even tho it was one sided but I don't think it's the same with my present boyfriend. I just feel like I M in a relationship, I do care for him but idk 

Boyfriend

New to this platform. First of all, hi everyone. 
I'm not a very social person but I have friends. But I don't share my personal life with them, I mean, I don't like to. 
However, there is something I wanted to talk to someone about. Just got to know about this platform. Thought I should share it here. 
I'm in a 3 year relationship with a girl. We both love each other badly. But since the lockdown, we've been staying away from eachother and things haven't been the same between us. We've been fighting for more than a year. I've committed many mistakes but I think those mistakes are not big enough to be upset about but again, that's just my opinion. She gets mad at my mistakes. Some of the mistakes have been repeated. I joined a new course for my career but as the focus shifted towards my career, I haven't been able to concentrate on our relationship. I love her, but I want to break up with her. But whenever this comes up, she starts abusing me and threatens me of committing suicide. But when the fight is over, she's like.. You know na it's a big step, I can't do this, etc etc. But these constant suicide texts just depresses me. Things are not in my control. I don't know how to go ahead from here. I want a break up but I can't do it. This depresses me and just kills me from within. I'm just trying to not give her any reason to get upset over me. I don't know what to do. 

Depression

I feel normal most of the time
But sometimes
I get too frustrated sad idk what it is
I  feel like hurting myself or someone
and bcoz of this I've been abusing my mom physically which I dont want to😭😭 I swear I dont want to
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and took medication for a year but didnt work
So I thought of getting recovered without medication 
😭😭 honestly I feel so suicidal frustrated and want to abuse someone 
I feel like my body is under control of something for that time of period 😭😭
HELP ME PLEASE 
EVEN NOW IM NOT ABLE TO SLEEP
AND FEELING THE SAME

Suicidal Ideation

Hey,
Its been a while since i was active well because i was in a good and happy relationship and i was actually happy after a long time and comfortable somewhat well not totally because it was all new and i was not totally changed after my previous relationship which was not so great and all soo yeah ...and after 10 months of this relationship after numerous arguments and miss understandings and a great happy date within few minutes he ended things saying he can't handle fights no more and thats when i felt myself crumbling totally because we had an amazing date yes he was kinda busy even on our date he was kinda ignoring n i got mad at that and thats when i felt that it is goin to be the hardest thing to process. So something about me is am someone who never begs someone to stay or to forgive but that day i was begging him to do everything possible to stay and thats when i felt even my self-respect crumbling and after 1 month of breakup m still broken as hell and still hoping for him to come back which is totally nonsense because that was not the plan soo yeah i am writing this because i can't share this with anyone but i really needed to get everything out of my system.

3am Thoughts

Sometimes I pat my own head when I'm feeling alone and tell myself that it's okay. Even though I'm 23, there's a kid inside me who was never acknowledged and loved by the environment I lived in. I get so excited when I see toys, when someone appreciates me, when someone acknowledges my existence. Though I know it might not be good for me, I still carry this child in my heart who takes control of my feelings.

Insecurity

Hey , guys I just wanna share something with you . I had a friend . In my opinion she is toxic and dragging me down ,so I decided to avoid her . Cause she made it clear many times that she doesn't care about me except herself and her more toxic boyfriend who was also my friend at some point . She never took responsibility for anything , always acting like damsel in distress . Always asking help in the matters that associated with her father . Like I was always there to help her out , if she asks help even now , I will help but it's not for friendship. I will help her because I will get irritated by her words or else I ignore her . But it's only me who gives and she never helps in any situation .I don't know why I even associate with her . 
So , I was avoiding her since I went to college . I even didn't talk to her for 6 months . I didn't reply her messages . In mean time pandemic started . I was feeling lonely . I become so sad thinking that I may not have any soulmate or that kind of strong bonded friendship . I have friends , but not many . I am " quite and minding your own business" type , so I have a really small friend circle . I was feeling really low that time and I was trying to overcome that phase. Then again she texted me . After 2 days struggle , I replied . That I was in I don't care mode and I thought whatever comes in your way try taking advantage of it . Then again started msg, long conversations in phone . Then as usual started toxicity of her and there is also her boyfriend . So I decided to again avoid her and this time I am going to do nothing . I will not give proper reply , won't meet with her , avoid conversations . I really want her out of my life . 

She is like I don't like that she is so beautiful , don't be friends with her anymore . Like bitch this is my life , I can be with who I want . She also told me she became friends with me because she is more pretty than me so , when boys watch us , they will look at her more . There was a time I replied her msg properly , but she will be like you don't msg me why I have to msg you first . When I hang out with other friends , she called and started blaming that I always ignore her , I always hang out with other but never with her . She never told me to go out with her at that time . But whenever two of us go out , she will call her boyfriend and she will not give a glance towards me . Like what the hell , what I am , a toy ? She hates everybody who is better than her . She want to continue our friendship because I am ugly , avarage in studies , hair is in boycut and any other way worse than her . I think she is dragging me down . 
What you guys think about her ? What things I should do ? 
I am going to cut her off completely out off my life , despite of what other people say .

Share ur feelings with me😍🤭

Dreams

my friends always say whenever a guy rejects me (it has hpnd like 3 times till date)tat he doesnt deserve me and i will find some1 much btr. i dont understand this. wat is wrong with me. every1 likes me as a frnd but they dont see me as a girlfrnd. i have declined some boys too. so i sometimes think tat its karma. since rejected and hurted some, others do tat to me. i see ppl getting committed around me though they r not having pure intentions. All this just upsets me and i dont know wat to do. i am not a kid. i am 23 yrs old and still wasnt even loved by some1 i wished to love. 🥲

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts