Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Sometimes i feel like my dad has something against me, I don’t understand why he can’t stand seeing me happy and can’t stop comparing me with my cousins whom I barely know. He didn’t even want me to go to college cuz he thought I wouldn’t make it while my mom was the only one looking over me and believe in me, helping me study (she’s a teacher) and helping me in any way she could. He’s always mean to me in the way he speaks, like he’s always mad while i’ve done nothing wrong. Next summer we are planning a trip to a country i’ve always dreamed of visiting, a place where coincidentally my cousin is studying in, I’ve been wanting to go there way before she did, I even remember the time 2 years ago my dad came and told me for the first time “she wants to go to that place you want to” and now that i’m actually going he dears to say literally “you’re copying her, you’re jealous” like WHAT?! how can i be jealous of someone i don’t even know, and why would i be copying her? I wanted to go way before i knew she did too. Now he’s trying to convince my mom to not let me go because like always, he’s the one who’s jealous, why does it bother him? he has to pay for absolutely non of it, it doesn’t affect him at all. My mom told him if he didn’t care for me to be happy and he responded “no, i don’t care”. Idk why these last few years he’s been acting this way, trying to put me against the rest of my family by putting words in my mouth i never said. He tries to put me against them and then forces me to talk to them and get along, he’d force me to wish my cousins a happier bday when i’ve never got along with them and they’ve never talked to me either. I don’t know why he can’t understand that we have no interest in each other yet that doesn’t mean we hate each other. The only one who’s always jealous of other people’s success is him. That’s probably why he didn’t want me to go to college either, cuz he never got to go. And instead of wanting a better future for his daughter like any other parent would, he wants me to end up miserable like him. He calls me stupid and immature, he wants me to grow up but not too much, he keeps repeating things like “you’re already 18” all of the time. No matter what i do he always has a complaint while no one else in the family seems to ever be bothered by my actions cuz i’ve literally done nothing for them to be. He talks so well about my brother and his side of the family as if i were less than all of them when in reality i’ve done so much more. I can’t help but feel like he hates me or something. Why does he treat me so badly?