Sometimes i feel like i'm not solid. I'm hollow, there's nothing behind my eyes. I'm a negative of a person. All i want is blackness. Blackness and silence.

Life

That day according to him.. i was a liar, manipulative and i was mentally harassing him.
But today he's sending me messages like CAN WE TALK?
Ussdin mei silently sab isliye sunn rahi thi kyunki mere dil, dimag hrr jgh se utr gya tha vo.
I just wanna tell him NO WE CAN'T TALK.. but reply bhi ni deserve karta ab vo mera.
If you are reading this, always remember - I FORGIVE YOU BUT I DON'T WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE! 

Time

He acted all interested, gave me a little care and attention and now that I have already started feeling for him, he ignores me. Wonder where/ what did I do wrong? :(

Overthinking

 I am 28 years old. I’m a Christina dating a Muslim boy. At first I thought my parents would never accept him. But after 6 months of dating I felt like I had to get off with this burden and I told them about you. To my surprise they were accepting. They handled the situation very nicely. 

But I don’t know. I am forever sad. Me as an individual, I don’t know what I want in life. I feel so lonely. Marriage or kids isn’t the answer to all of this. My mental state is deteriorating. And I feel no one understands this. 

Mental Illness

Life is so hard
Hard to find a normal girl

Lonely

Those days. Days when I went to my college, hung out with my people, had the most fun days of my life. Now, everyone left, without a proper goodbye. 
Those days. When I ran from morning 7 to evening 6 and still felt happy and fresh. Now, extra fat seems to have consume me all around my body. 
Those days. When I met people, when I greeted, smiled at them, waved at them and received their warm-hearted response back. 
This pandemic has killed my mental health.
I miss my old life. I wanted it to end in beautiful memories. Unfortunately, all I had was an online examination with no people around me. I wanted some time off my life to travel. But for the past 2 years, I haven't crossed my street. My responsibilities (including getting a job) is making things worse.

With no friends or girlfriend or anyone to discuss my feelings with, not able to do anything with my life, I feel like a huge dump. 

First time joining this app. I've had it on my phone for months, never had the courage to actually sign up. 

Don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate that something absolutely devastating just happened which finally made me sign up.

Need someone to talk to who hopefully understands. Would love to listen and help as much as I can, too.

After all, we're here for one reason: to be heard without being judged.

Rant ahead...Sometimes I think it's really sad that I dont have friends or people I can trust n without realizing it I had started holding grudges on my acquaintances for not being there for me but today I realized that they too r fighting their own battles n expecting a person to support u n resenting them when they dont do that is really unfair n self centric of me. Putting it down here so that the next time I feel lonely I can read it as a lesson to self.😂

Gratitude

you have only seen a reflection of what you appear to be. who you really are depends on the places you find yourself and the people you get lost with, not your waist size or the skin you’re wrapped in. you are a construction site; a work in progress; not your disability or weakness. hair grows outrageously, and out of control; a natural disaster we all survive. you might feel pretty obnoxious or incongruous sometimes; individually we’re all different, but together we create an exquisite bouquet of flowers.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts