Sometimes I feel like I can be surrounded by dozens of people in a room and still feel utterly alone

I too feel it a lot..
And whenever i have felt this i am always surrounded by dozens of people who are friends family or someone i know 

try to enjoy someone's company. I'm sure there's someone out there who also likes ur company.   

Lonely

In our  bengal durga puja start and it will be held for 5days very happy to celebrated  with family and some class friends 

Happy

Nah man fuck school I am so done with it. it is mentally and physically draining me. how does 5 days for 6-7 hours of school make sense then only a two day weekend? this education system is horrible

3am Thoughts

I am going for my lab tests today after about 3 years. And m nervous

Adulting

I had an argument with my mom on the phone and I'm feeling so sad. I almost never fight with her we we're talking about me finding a job (I'm 19) and somehow the talk escalated and I said I don't wanna live with you after graduating bc my older sister does and you make things hard for her and nag about all the money you spent on her education just so she can hate home and find a job and I don't want to experience the same thing. She got so mad. she said Am a devil in your eyes if you're so sure you won't find a job then drop out and come home aren't you gonna do chores all the day if you live alone what's wrong with doing it for me you're blaming ur insecurities on me. and hung up after saying she's getting mad talking more. I feel so sad I'm crying in the middle of a cafe rn. I still think I'm right bc she literally admitted before that she's bothering my sister so she can hurry up and get a job so she'll def do it to me too. but not being good with my mom is so upsetting I wanna apologize but idk how it's so awkward bc its on phone (we're in different cities rn) do I lie and say yeah you were right she might understand it's a lie tho or call her tomorrow to talk about my day and act like nothing happened? I'm so scared and sad

Yes, Watching Taylor Swift's MIDNIGHT album says it all about my 3:00 am mood ...🌌

I just took some proffesional quized of depression......
🙂

Guess what..

I have depression infact a lot of it im not suprised neither am i chill.i dont know who i am anymore everything that used to feel fun suddenly turned boring , everyone who cheers me up drifted away . My appetites aren't so regular anymore,  its isnt healthy but whats the point of staying healthy staying healy means longer life now thats something I'll hate. depression, no proper love, dark world thats all i know pushing myself to keep going my feet are giving away, they desperately need rest, how long will i keep going someday I'll fall just like my pens once their last drop of ink is used all the essays,homeworks,notes i wrote everything is suddenly forgotten , its tossed in trash should i be scared I'll end up that way?

Books

Everyone says good things take time, but what if it take so long that you don't have time. And at last even if you get it you can't enjoy it. 

Emotional Abuse

I am not feeling well these days. I am confused about both my professional and personal life. This lockdown  is making me feel like I was lonely my whole life but realised it now. I am introvert and now I am being compared with others and this is making me feel that I am an useless person . Why can't I live as I wish😭

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