so sometimes i just have these hatred attacks towards myself( i don’t even know if this is a thing lol) , it comes in sometimes out of nowhere or when i remember something triggering, i get really anxious and i feel really upset and angry if there’s someone bsides me i’ll probably yell at them if there’s no one i’ll just break something or hit my head in the wall (without really hurting myself tho) i get this feeling of like cringe and i keep yelling at my thoughts to just shut up, it’s really stressful. Usually when this happens to calm down i fix my vision on a specific point and i start counting or dictating the multipication tables ( it might be weird but i do it to cope, to force myself to focus on something so that i can have my mind clear of everything else and just numb myself) Sometimes it really works but sometimes it still keeps going, usually as i said it happens after something triggers me, something someone said, something i’ve seen, a memorie that i have remebered or simply just when i think about something i have told myself im not supposed to and then when i realize it’s when it starts and i beat myself for it. Does anyone know what is it? and how can i help it?
You should see a therapist, it’s not shameful. many people get feelings like this many times.
