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So my mom is a recovered crack addict and is still an alcoholic. I have left many times because she would get black out and turn into a bully mentally and physically. More often then not both. This has been happening ever since I could understand what was going on wrong in my life at about 9 years old… She would put me in my room and then just talk about me to herself and scream at me laye at night so I couldn’t sleep. This has caused ptsd, shell shock,anxiety, depression, just so many problems for me. I’ve gone threw self harm just to numb out the pain of her mental bullying when she wouldn’t just give me a smack instead. Anyway that’s in the past… I left again…#3 when I just turned 14 in 2018 and moved in with a close friend and lived with her till I was 16 then I met my boyfriend and we decided that town wasnt good for us anymore, so we decided to move in with my mom which was a 8 hour drive away. She picked us up and we moved in with her, with my recovery kitty. Everything was great as it always when I first came back… but that all ended. She started bullying my boyfriend instead if she couldn’t get to me. She would do the same thing to him as she did to me the little things like if he didnt know how to cook something she would make fun of him till he left the room then continuously mock him knowing hes listening…one day he was sitting on the couch watching movies and she decided to as she said “pretend jokingly” kick him in the face. While her foot was right next to his head. He uelld for me and told me what she did. So I defended him and said “seriously mom why would you do something like that like it’s not funny” and she said “it was just a joke and hes just a little pussy” and kept calling him down and calling him a pussy. She was drinking and starting to black out. So I decided to go to her room and grab the rest of her alcohol and not let her have it till she was more sober. She snapped and jumped on me me so I defended myself over alcohol… The fight was bad and I knew we couldn’t stay there anymore. She was screaming at me to get out of her house then as soon as we were walking out she said to come back as she has done many times to me. We left. We stopped helping her with rent and got our own place. Regardless of what has happend she does have a good side and I love her shes my mother i just want her to get help I miss who she really was…I have someone i talk to and they could get her help if she wanted it. She just needs to talk to them… but here’s the problem for the time being,
How do I continue even seeing my mother when she invites us over for dinner if its unpredictable what’s going to happen. I dont even know anymore if shes been drinking. It’s not out of her system even if she hasn’t had one that day…and he wont come over with me, which makes me feel alone because she always makes comments like “why doesnt he help you” and when I say its because of her it’s just another fight…how do I help my mom and my boyfriend to love and respect each other again? How do I help my family be at peace?

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Anonymous

Hello. I want to let you know that you’re brave for always coming back that to her after everything, it just shows how much you truly love her. I’m a strong believer in God and believe that things happen for a reason (even if it seems cruel) and that there’s a timing for everything . When the time is right you will have everything you ever dreamed of. Don’t give up.

Adding on, my father has had a problem with drinking my whole life, and my mum.says that he always has. He’s not abusive in any way but the times he does drink is not pleasant and I get really scared that he will harm himself and those times are scary. (I can’t imagine what you have been through cause my situation is not as bad). One day he drunk so and wouldn’t stop. The situation got so bad that when we took the bottle away from him he threatened us with a butter knife. I knew he didn’t want to harm us just to give us a scare. I know this because I’ve always been the one to get through to him but this time he wasn’t listening. That night still drunk while my mum and I tried to cach some sleep (she slept in my room) I kept a knife close by who know what a drunken man can do in his state. he kept on apologising and even started crying. The next morning he woke up sober and apologised. My mum told him what he had done and the knife I kept close. Since that day my father has not once gotten drunk and drinks a little bit of alcohol when we go to gathering or parties.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is not to lose hope. I never thought he would stop but he did. And now we’re always a happy family.