So me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for over 3 years now. Practically a long distance (thanks covid and colleges in different cities). Finally we’re getting a chance to be together. My job will be in Bangalore. He got a choice between Bombay and Bangalore and he chose Bangalore. I was given to choose between two parts of Bangalore, I chose the one far away from him because that’s more happening and I am moving out for the first time so I needed to choose that. I would feel alone and I couldn’t and don’t want to rely on him for my mental sanity. Like an understanding person he is, he did support me. But he’s very unhappy and feels very betrayed and like a fool now. I don’t know what to do or how to comfort him. I chose something important for me instead of us. 


Zuja

U are so confused. Clear ur relationship first. 

Long Distance Relationship

Is it okay to talk with ex like friends if we end on a good note?

Relationships

Can we really get over someone ? I've been trying to let go of someone but the moment I get better, my past keeps popping up always. Even if I try to run away from them, they encounter me somehow. It's really hard to unlove them when all you watch them daily. Sure I have cleared all the pics, the chats and try desperately each day to move on ahead in life, but a glimpse of them somehow weakens me. I never know will this get any better or is it just going to be like this till the very end.

3am Thoughts

This is like first time ever . Meet a guy through a known aunty . We meet for 1 month. I got attached with him pretty easily as we were of same field and I got easily speak with him about anything.However, he ended up specifying that he is unsure of this whole marriage thing . Now the problem is I send him msg where I vent out and said final bye . He responded too with final bye . After this I again called him to check how is he doing and coping with it. He said he is doing okay . And shared that he needs to fix his mind as he feels that this thing is not made for him.The most problematic thing is I keep missing him. I keep remembering the moments and talks . I just can’t forget him. I spoke with my frds , cried but still it keeps hitting my mind. 

Stress

 i’m about to rant my heart out so here it goes. 

 i’ve been talking to this dude for three years now off and on.  I started talking to him when I was a freshman in high school and now I’m about to enter my senior year. I was just a baby when we started talking, I’ve had many of my firsts with him. First kiss, first guy went to second base with, first guy I fell in love with. But the problem is I didn’t fall in love with him, I fell in love with a version of him that I created in my head.  The version of him that I created in my head is sweet, kind, and caring. The real him can be that sometimes but only with evil intentions behind it. He always asks for nudes, to “get him off”.  and for a long time I agreed to be friends with benefits because I thought that maybe, just maybe one day he would start to love me back and that it wasn’t really just one-sided for all this time.  I act like I don’t care, like I’m heartless. And sometimes I genuinely don’t, it used to be worse but the past year I’ve learned that all I need is myself. But late at night when I’m by myself it’s exactly what I think about.  I am so tired of being used for my body by all these boys. And I know I have sweet ones at my feet too, but as hard as I try I can never get myself to like them and I wish I knew why. Trust me, I would like them if I could but I just can’t seem to. I only like him. It’s always been him. I hate him so much that I still love him. He’s not even  that cute, but I love every single one of his flaws. He thinks I’m dumb, that I don’t know what he’s doing. I know exactly what he’s doing and I am continuing  to let it happen but for what? I couldn’t tell you.  The end of my sophomore year before quarantine I went over to this one dudes house because I thought maybe he genuinely liked me. He acted sweet and kind in the beginning. I missed all the red flags and I don’t know why none of my friends told me anything. I went over to his house after school one day , We were watching sex education on Netflix. It’s a funny show. I had planned to maybe make out with him but nothing more than that. So we started to make out, and next thing you know he was pulling down his pants and we were at second base so I was like what the hell and I sucked his dick. Then he went down on me and it was the first guy that  has ever gone down on me before and may I add he did horribly. But that’s besides the point, after that he was on top of me mind you both are pants are off. He asks “ can I?”  knowing that I had never had sex before. I kind of mumbled a “sure”  obviously looking uncomfortable. He did it anyway. I didn’t really want to. I was so glimpse in my body language should have told him that I obviously wanted him to stop but he never did and I wanted to  say something but words couldn’t form and they never came out. I guess it wasn’t rape technically since I said sure but I wanted him to stop I was pushing him to get off of me but he was too heavy. I guess he didn’t realize. Am I just too nice of a person? Did I get raped?  i’m crying writing this because I just don’t understand what happened to me. The next day at school he unadded me and told me he was getting back with his ex girlfriend and I haven’t spoken to him since. I haven’t wanted to speak to him anyways.  he would do weird shit to me at school before that too. He grabbed my ass one time and it made me super uncomfortable which should have been obvious. Lots of things should have been obvious. But I guess some dudes are just too stupid to realize that. Or was that my fault as well? Then quarantine happened.  i’m kind of glad that quarantine happened at the time  it did. But at the same time I developed an eating disorder and lost about 30 pounds in a short period of time. I still struggle with an eating disorder, it’s not as bad as it was. But I get so mad at myself for eating too much. I ate a lot today and I feel like shit.  then don’t get me started on my toxic ass household and family. I love my grandma with all my heart but she makes these little comments all the time with what I eat. I got a prom dress the other day and she said that I better watch what I eat until prom to make sure I still fit in it. I love that woman with all my heart but why does she have to do that? My dad doesn’t know how to hold a normal conversation without screaming at me . He will scream at me for 10 minutes straight and then come back five minutes later acting like nothing ever happened trying to love upon me. I will never marry a man like my father. Are there any good guys left? That I can actually like? Or maybe I’m doomed to be alone. These are the thoughts that keep me up at night, I wish they were happy ones.  I miss being a little girl and having innocent thoughts before going to bed. Dreaming about pirate ships and mermaids and being so excited to go to school the next day and see my best friends. I don’t even go to school anymore, and my grades are horrible. We only have like a week of school left and I have no motivation to fix my grades whatsoever but I need to. I need to so I can get into a good college and move far far away get away from this life that I’m living now.  that’s the sliver of hope that I’m holding onto. Because right now, and for the past few weeks I genuinely have not wanted to be on this earth. I’m staying for my best friend, dog, and grandma. And that small sliver of hope that one day I will have a new life. 

Exhausted

Do I deserve to be tortured?ik It was my mistake I cheated on two guys at the same time and one of them got to know I decided to stay with him and left the other he had his conditions that I should not go out I should not talk to boys and I should not wear short clothes like a stupid girl I listened and now we are in 2 years relationship almost he comes up the part I cheated always and shouts at me bullies me says bad words we are in a long distance relationship I'm not allowed to put my camera on in classes because of him he says bad words everytime like gand mara randi and all its like torture and I haven't talked to any boy or did anything wrong past one year I understood my mistake decided to stay loyal and say the truth even if I tell him the truth he won't believe me I have issues going on in family too I don't feel like being alive anymore I want to die I want to find peace in death I just can't take all this it's difficult for me to even share my feelings now I'm so tired of all this I just can't 

Depression

It's been 2 years since I had my breakup and I've been trying to move on ane make peace with my past. But after every 3-4 months he tries to contact me and I couldn't resist myself to reply. He shares his emotions and problems and then vanish the next day. It Hurts and I always feel like moving back to square one. It's mentally very disturbing. I don't feel exhausting anymore.  At times I feel like , I'm always there when he needs me within minutes and when I share something he won't even reply.

Breakup

Hey guys,
I am in dilemma in decision. My family found a match for me for arrange marriage and we talked twice on video calls. He seems good and supportive person. I like him. But he drinks, at that time I said okay and I don't like drinking. And it's bothering me now, this one factor is stopping me to accept him. what do I do? I don't want to tell my fam about it, ofc for person's image, so should I tell anyone? And reject this offer

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