So many ways to fuck up your life

I still end up picking ones which are not fun

Growing Up

Well! I really want to go for a ride qki Delhi me achi thandi hawa chal rhi h abhi. But I dnt wanna go alone 

3am Thoughts

So let's drop your age and see who is youngest and oldest here. Fun game

I'm proud of you for constantly combating generational trauma. I'm proud of you for observing your thoughts, self sabotaging behaviours and changing them, breaking all these toxic patterns. Ilysm

Happy

I was talking to this guy on this app.. and next thing I saw that he got banned for violating community guidelines.. kya kiya hoga usne.. I wonder..

okay so um, here it goes, when i was 14 i had a very toxic relationship with a guy that completely distroyed my confidence, self-love, and broke my heart into a lot of pieces. I'm fully over him because i know that he wasn't good for me, and for a while i thought that every problems that he caused in me were gone, but now i'm kinda feeling like they're not gone at all, i'm starting this new relationship with a guy who is actually really nice, respectful, and that is always making things to make me happy, but the problem is actually me, im constantly afraid of the fact that he might get bored of being with me, that maybe i'm a bit annoying sometimes, and that's everyday, i trust him, but i think i don't trust myself  to realize that i'm good enough for people to don't get bored, and i just can't help but think that i'm not okay, that i need help, because i feel like sh*t everyday, when i trully shouldn't

Relationships

"What's your biggest regret?"

Life

So i know i might be a little late today
Coming up with words for you today
But trust me when i see you feeling lonely
Nothing but care comes up as feel
Remember when i said you're not just
A beautiful face for me?
I used to judge people alot before 
Only trying to become a better person than i was
But don't let me fool you
I'm no angel or some nice guy
Who's trying to make you fall
I used to be the worst person in the room always
Mess up all the friendship and relations always
Made people leave me
Made people ghost me
Made people do things 
They never thought could be done
Remember i said i used to say this alot before
I'm the worst guy you could ever meet
That's because I'm a loner at heart
Keep try to find a place to belong
But deep inside i know it's just a fake part
Insecurities and anxiety eat me up daily
Trust issues and overthinking keep me up daily
The only time i felt there's an escape
Is when we talked late at night so openly
When you told me about your past
And when you told me how you feel you're the worst
Maybe i thought i could relate to you
Cause have i been down that road too
So before you make any other effort
Do read this and tell me what you know
As i said you don't believe in love
I didn't used to too 
But i never lost hope
I'm not looking for love 
Just peace and hope so
Making you happy gained me that so
If only i could meet you in real though
I would have showed you how 
Dark eyes and a fake smile 
Isn't that bad a combination 
That we both have, you know.
#S

Crush

How am I feeling today? I'm still in a coma because my country suffers from the Nazis. I'm Lebanese and Lebanon was under Syria's rule during several decades. It seems Syria protected one of the most dangerous Nazi who managed to escape WW2 (Alois Brunner).

I have no intimate life, my body does strange things, and I have to deal with years of fight with the political police (even though we won because I collaborated with France's secret service to put an end to this misery).

I'm 40 and I wake up to discover chemical weapons might have been used on me. When I was 17 I took a drug for acne called tretinoin. It has many side effects and a few severe ones like blood clots. Today I'm thinking about this every second and I'm paralysed. Was this legitimate or was it a cruel plan from the Syrian political police? You know chemical weapons have been banned in 1997 and it's the year I took it.

Yesterday I went to the doctor and he said I was psychotic and schizophrenic. I told him I have no mental disorders: I'm in competition with others and this fog of war is killing me.

My only hope is my passion (music) and my occupation (web development).

If you can relate, please send me a message. WW2 wasn't over!

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts