So letās dive into this hell hole
I have been in a relationship for the past 5 years now and even after that much I still donāt know what I mean to my partner
I mean I know that he loves me but I donāt think he loves me enough
There has been many a time that he has chosen his friends over me and those friends who have done nothing but hurt him and on the other hand I try soo hard to do things for him to make his life easy and still when we are together he always misses his friends and early waits for the time when gets to go back to them and when he has to spent contiounsly 2 days with me he doesnāt want to do that but he meets his friends daily and still wants to be there with them
I m just soo fucking tired of feeling like I am in a competition with his friends and I just dont know what to do how to feel
I want him to want to spend time with me and that is such a messed up feeling because it is forceful
I dont understand why doesnāt he want to spend most of his time with me I am fun person
When we are together we enjoy a lot still
I dont know what should I do and because of this I feel so angry that I take it out on my innocent family members who want nothing but my happiness
Itās like how my boyfriend treats me is actually how I treat my parents and my sister which Is wrong on so many fucking levels but that what i do and I am a horrible person and I should just die because I cant turn off my anger and i dont have a clue and i just feel worthless and insecure and jealous and sad and cranky and I just want to die
rayofhope @radh
I think you should talk about this to him. Yeah itās wrong that you end up hurting your family members but you need channelize your anger in a better way. Try and have a conversation with him about this. Maybe heāll tell you if thereās anything thatās missing between you two. And yeah donāt blame yourself and feel guilty bcoz you canāt love others if you donāt love yourself. No oneās born as a bad human being. You got this girlš
Hey , thanks for replying and yeah I have tried quite a lot of time having a convo with him but itās like he just doesnāt get my point and he thinks I overthink things and I am extremely negative
I have even suggested that we should try couples therapy but he says that if wants to talk about his feelings he would rather talk directly with me than in front of some stranger but even in front of me he is not too expressive
I see some changes after we sit and talk but those changes dont last
rayofhope @radh
Do you notice any change in his behaviour when heās with his friends and then when heās with you?
Yeah he is more caring and sensitive and understanding to things with me but with his friends they are like in general how guys hang around joke around have fun
I feel that he craves that fun more than what fun we have
rayofhope @radh
See if you say that heās more caring, sensitive and understanding when heās with you then I think you must be really overthinking about this situation with his friends. Maybe unknowingly you feel that you want all his attention whereas he divides it between both. If he behaves in the right manner with you then thatās a good thing. Just try and let it go. Enjoy every moment that you spend with him. Also, you can get along with his friends too so you all can hangout together.
That is actually true . And and actually weiting down my issue it doesnāt seemed that big as it seemed before in my head . So thank you so much I think I just needed to hear the truth
rayofhope @radh
Iām glad it helped you. Keep going š
Hii
Okay so I read your post and wanted to tell you.
You are not a horrible ,jealous or a cranky person itās just a situation this phase will pass you are strong. Iām really upset with the fact that you get angry with your family members because of your boyfriend this is absolutely wrong . I would suggest give your boyfriend some space. Leave him alone for some time, if he truly loves you he will come back to you and vice a versa . Stop being so rude to yourself read books ,meditate ,spend time with your family, go for walks with them, cook with them , focus on studying (if you are studying) or focus on anything that you are good at , make your family proud of you and make yourself proud. Itās time come out of this circle. All the best, Iām really sorry if I said something wrong . May universe bless you ,take care . Byee.
Thank you so much dear for sharing your positivity
Anytime . Take care
