So ,it's my birthday yay!! At 12 am i waited for your call and for that I hanged up other calls just for you but you didn't called me god knows what happen and you finally wished me after a mid day today ,that is not fine I do lots of things for us so that we'll have some great time maybe I overdid it and you are not the person that is for me ,and other thing is people are pretending to be so happy about my birthday it's the matter of fact of only one day , tommorow again you are Going to do backbitching ,i just hate this I do lots for people but in return I only get sadness and in the end I'm alone...🙂

Happy birthdayyyyy girl 🙌 I know it feels bad. But celebrate your day, reserve it for your ownself only, don't ruin it for others :) have fun me time

Depression

Nothing os working in my favour since a lot of time now. I missed on so many fun things that my friends did without me because i was in another city. They spent the bestest time of our group, and somehow unintentionally i was never in the city ( i visit home in 20-25 days ) during that time because of some college work or something or the other coming up. Being in a close city too i missed out on every single one’s birthday for the whole year.  
And now my birthday is coming up in literally 5 days. Anxiety is kicking in as every year. But i am still always excited to celebrate, and that too went downside when I discussed the plans with my friends. They said they would be able to come only for an hour or so as it is a working day and all of them have jobs. Whereas when they partied on others’ bdays at that time somehow it was the weekend or public holiday or something always.

I kmow these ar elittle things but it affects me alot
I literally have only 5 friends.
One persons bday is coming 10 days after me and they are already planning for a big night that day as it is public holiday on 1st may. How is this fair with me ???
They arey bestest friends idk 
I always have these thoughts around my bday that i dont mean anything to anyone.



FOMO

Anyone having birthday tomorrow?

3am Thoughts

I want to celebrate my bday with orphans and have fun with them, give me lots of gifts and love. Does anyone have the same thought like me ?

Pov : your crush texted you on your birthday 🎂 

Day 64 of writing journal entries.

I took the day off today so I could actually go and do some things, rather than sleep all day sick like yesterday. Well, I did stay at home, but I did commit to a lot of hobbies. I just wanted to have a chill day and I think I achieved that pretty nicely. :)

I got invited to a birthday party by one of my old friends. I’m debating whether I should go or not. I just feel a bit nervous is all… of seeing some of the people who will be there. I left my old school for a fresh start and I don’t like going back to my old friends because it’s a reminder of what the past was like. Some of my old friends are nice, the one hosting the party is nice, but some of the people at the party aren’t the best. I’ll have to think about it.

Today was nice and simple, not a bad day at all. I hope everyone else is having a good day as well. 🧡

Personal Growth

I feel like maybe I should be focusing on my career or life but honestly all I think about 364 days of the year is about my birthday. Like the minute it’s over, I’m planning the next one. Maybe that’s shallow, but if I was poor I probably wouldn’t even care about my birthday. I’d just be happy spending time with my loved ones. Fuckk that noise, I want to wake up drunk tomorrow, braless, on a flight. I’m 23 not 43, waste my time on having conversations with friends I’m probably not even going to be talking to in 2 years. I cringe at the very idea of someone saying “I don’t want to party on my birthday”, everyone has different choices and that’s what makes us unique, but commmme onnnnn. Like what are we supposed to do??? Order “food” and then “eat it” like I’d rather stab myself with a butter knife, than sit around and hear people talk about their relationships (romantic or platonic) which aren’t even going to last the week. Pleeeeasssee let’s rage because in 7 more years our bodies will not recover from hangovers like they do now. It is actual torcher for your party guests to sit across you and hear you say “I’m done with men/women”, we can’t ask you to shut up, we can’t walk away, we can’t ignore you because it’s your birthday. I wish more mum’s raised better party hosts, like mine did. Yeah I’m dreading a friend’s Birthday which is 2 days after mine.

Relationships

i just saw someone say don’t remind people when your birthday is and see who are your real friends and i think that’s such a terrible measure of friendship.

Birthdays pe rona is the parampara I follow. Some silly thing triggered my crying now there's a efing river flowing. I wasn't gonna cry this time. I promised to myself. I was happy. But one silly thing and it's all gone. 
Bucket leke aao kisi ko pani chahiye to. 🤝

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts