Olivia @honestly
so it’s 3:27 am in the morning and i’m writing this thing I know a bit early I just woke up though. I wanted to say thank you for all your support it’s nice to know you have a community backing you now into the story. I have a friend in the group home which is a staff we’ve been through the ups and down’s together and I mean down’s by we were driving and she got lost and I was mad and asked her to pull over cause I wanted to get out of the car so I took my seat belt off in the middle of traffic and opened the door I know it wasn’t safe and I will never do that again and then she asked me to close the door she was scared for my safety and she started crying and said I always do everything to try to make you happy. then I started crying when we went back home one of the staff said to give me some space even though that’s not what I wanted then I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. fast forward to the ups of our friendship she told me at the hospital I i’m her favourite but she treat’s everyone like they are her favourite or she likes one kid better then me. so I try to be more like them and it doesn’t work I remember the first time she was here it was chaotic there was a fight going on it was her first shift between two kids and I asked her if she wanted to paint with me to get her mind of off the situation she declined. we bonded over the hate of Donald trump fast forward to 2021 and things got a little sticky well okay a lot sticky she kept lying to me a lot and every time I told her something personal she would do Pseudo-listening which means she wasn’t really listening she would just say she was listening but when a another kid would say something personal about their life she would fully listen and eye contact. she always tries to make me feel better but sometimes she only makes me feel better when someone ask’s her too for example when I was crying she was about to leave her boyfriend was waiting in the car until my Mom told her to comfort me and she did.when we were in the house she told me I never cry in front of people I don’t feel comfortable with. every time I talk to her she’s just on her phone ignoring me not paying attention or seems annoyed.
I feel like firstly, do not compare urself with others. Even if she likes one kid better, you don’t NEED to change and become like them. You are different and that’s ur uniqueness. Also, maybe try asking her that does she really want to talk to you or is she herself is facing some problems. Otherwise, just try and share your feelings with someone else if the current person is not responding in a way you expect. There are a lot of ppl who will be there to help you, don’t be dependent on just one, explore.
