Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.
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Anonymous

So i was just brainstorming about some random things and suddenly like a rewind video of my childhood traumas played through my mind. Just wanted to vent it out here. So my mom and dad both r on job even b4 they were married. They are two strong headed people and often have opinion clashes and i grew up listening to their verbal fights about finances, properties,management, loans. Basically they lacked communication which lead to misunderstanding and then it would heat upto a fight. Ofcourse all this affected us(me and my younger bro) mentally. We have seen it since childhood. But has fortunately vanished as they communicate and things are going pretty well [touchwood]. Actually there was one more reason behind the fights betn mom and dad it was that my dad cheated on my mom like 4 to 5 times with different women. She’d come to know about it and then a fight and this continued. He doesn’t do it anymore as we have grown up and unfortunately i myself saw 3 of these incidences with my eyes but i was too small to understand whats happening[it’s traumatizing now]. Due to this my mom tried to kill herself twice. Once she haded a suicide note to me but fortunately nothing bad happened. That note shattered me as a kid. I almost felt lifeless for a moment. I don’t know if it’s true but my dad claims that those things happened due to a black magic. Don’t want to talk about it deeply. I feel my father has genuinely changed now he does everything to make us happy and since almost five years he gives his best even before he wasn’t a bad human being he did all that a dad would do for his childeren but unfortunately he wasn’t a good husband. But sadly i remember the past clearly and i have forgiven him for his past miatakes. But sometimes i just think like he made my childhood traumatized and above all he made my mom go through all that crap[i hated him like nothing] but my mom said that hate will just rip us apart. Let’s make a fresh start and live like a happy family since then things are going smooth![evil eyes off] it was a horrible child hood though. I cried while thinking of it and felt like expressing. Plz don’t say anything bad about my parents they learnt from their mistakes and that’s what matter. I love them!

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @wanderer888
17 replies
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Anonymous

Please help me make peace with this harsh truth. It still makes me cry😞😭

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Anonymous

Try therapy maybe

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Anonymous

Is it my fault that this happened? I feel guilty and frustrated. I love my mom more than my life

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Anonymous

Please suggest something to help. I’ll be grateful🙏please

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Anonymous

No not your fault, can you afford therapy?

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Anonymous

You are an angel thank you! Thank u so much… I swear to god i am crying right now… I was soo helpless thankyou
Goddess!

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Anonymous

U don’t know what impact these words make like 17 long years bearing with this burden. I didn’t had people to speak. U know i used to pretend laughing to hide these emotions… For an 11 year old kid it was… I can’t express the feeling. A different sort of suffocation i used to start crying anywhere in the classroom, in washroo, behind my room’s door, space betn the almirah on the terrace… Just cry no reason… And people used to laugh… I remember the faces saying kinta roti hai… Sympathy gainer and bullying on the top of that
No body understood what’s wrong with this girl… They just passed comments and laughed! Eventually i turned 13 at it started affecting my academics… I used to be a brilliant student but all this made me soo weak… I couldn’t think! I used to just start laugh for the sake of pretending… The trauma became past but left me with a habit of crying… Crying whenever i feel a negative energy be it anger frustration guilt repentence regret anything… And again people still make fun of me saying crybaby or sympathy victim card… I didn’t even let them know about these problem and i was so so mature as a child… These things shaped me and made me realize the responsibilities that other people most often ignore… Just wanted to share with you. Thank u for being a listener. U r soo kind. Have a great day! I just wish all your dreams and wishes come true! U r an angel trust me! I’ll pray for you to ganesha🙏

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Anonymous

As you said ur eyes r wet… I want to tell u that my mom says i am a pure soul as i cry to vent out negativity and that connecting with someone soo deeply just by their virtual presence shows how much pure as a person u are… Good wishes for your life… God bless you… May u shine and rise

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Anonymous

Your dad is a changed man now but your mom is real gem of a person ♥️ and that she wants to see in you. So, you need to see to that fine line now and try to move on from that horrible past like a nightmare. But again, it’s easier said than done. So, as suggested by others you may need therapy too… to make peace with yourself and for a better future with your own self! No matter what comes in your way, it can’t stop you as you’ve faced the worst in such a young age. ♥️♥️🤗🤗 The amount of emotional burden can be well understood and you have a great life ahead of your own to live and enjoy to the fullest. Let these sand remain in the memories and try to forgive him (to find your own peace and for family) whenever it comes to your mind. Just close your eyes and seek forgiveness to God for him… that he must remain the same (which will be your ultimate strength) forever!

Hugs!! 🤗🤗♥️♥️

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Anonymous

Thank you so much for your help. I will do that. God bless you!

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Anonymous

To you as well… you’re most welcome! ♥️

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Anonymous

I m glad people here are so kind and patient to listen to a stranger’s problems and genuinely try to help. Words have the power to heal. Once again thank u for your precious time. I respect it!

Profile picture for Now&Me member @wanderer888

Wanderer @wanderer888

Truth and genuineness finds their way out… just like water 🌊 There’s a certain pain in your words… the way you feel… the way you put them. You’re a kind soul too. Love and peace! ♥️♥️

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