So I really feel fantastic most of the time. I really enjoy my life and being an introvert I need no one to keep me happy or entertained because I figure out my own way. I do not involve into unnecessary arguments with anyone and just mind my own business. I have a small friend circle and all of them are proud of having me as a friend because I sound most sensible to them and I always like to be as close to reality as possible.
Now, the problem is my family doesn’t like this happy for nothing behaviour of me. For them I should be worried about something then only I make a good son. I should act serious, responsible and mature and that’s what it would take me to please them. But I am the exact opposite of what they expect. Now one of the components of my nature is I try to make people like me. Now here is where it contradicts me. If I try to be my parents version of me I go depressed and anxious but they are happy. If I don’t try that and just be myself I really get scolded for every single thing I do and according to them I should be ashamed of even breathing. Now ofcourse I cannot fight them and till date I have tried many times to let them know that they should let go of their expectations of me. But all ends in emotional drama and them saying I am not a worthy son. Now if this would have been anyone else I wouldn’t give a sh*t of what they would think of me and carry on with my life. But they are my parents and I believe making them unhappy is going to bring no good to me. So I am really in this trap where on one side stands me and my ambitions and on the other side stands my parents expectations. I really cannot decide which one weighs more and how should I come to conclusion that would benefit both the sides?
thanks for sharing this
i understand that this must be tuff for you to handle. on this i would say that- these close interpersonal relationships can sometimes get difficult to have and can create anxiety but we also gotta note the fact that our parents are a totally different generation and we really need to figure a way out to explain them things. It doesn’t mean that we should never listen to them but we can atleast try to communicate good and come to a conclusion mutually. and also we need to be patient while doing this because our parents might or might not agree to us in the 1st attempt.
also if you feel that you have a lot of confusing thoughts all at one time, i would suggest that try noting down your thoughts and feeling to have a better understanding and the figure out what you think is the best thing to do in a particular situation.