So i met him 4yrs ago on tinder we connected he was my first of everything and i work and earn almost 50k since we met thn i was 23 and he didnt he told me he had some shoulder injury due to gym and he couldn’t wrk until its fixd i askd abt his past since i ddnt had any only school love and he told me about his frst Ex who cheated on him and that he has trust Issues since thn and anger issues too he started to spend all the time with me he even does not like if I go out with my girlfriend due to him, my bond with my roommate also got bad and I started livng alone he insisted for live in bt i was not ready thn he used to say that he does not on right now and I own so I should do the expenses when he will learn he will do all of it and I used to do everything because I used to get manipulated by him and i was naive enough  then he told me about his gambling habits and lured me  so I can give you money to play. I used to give him 2K or 3K once and then then things got messy he used to lose all of it  he started asking other people for money, then came begging to me to return their money and I like a fool help him every time. I even broke my FD for him even made a credit card because of him his parents knew everything and they have given up on him, but I used to think at least he is loyal and he does not do drugs or any alcohol or smoke then on December. I got to know that he is on bumble and Tinder again and when I confronted him this time he told me that now he is feeling for someone else and he left me all alone I was broken and I tried to get him back but he does not want you to come back to me. Then the girl cheated on him too. Then he came begging to me but I was not ready for him, he kept sending me mixed signals that we would stay friends and then again I fell for him, now this time he said he is totally changed and he will only marry me and he told me that the other girl is trying to get back so he will meet him to make her understand that they are over since he was physical with her and then I got to know in between these things. He also got involved with the married woman who sucked his dick and when I was with him her husband called and then he panicked and then told me about it and said it was just one time and she was insisting not me, I even let it go today when I came back to my hometown and called him, he did not pick, and then he told me that he is with his ex  that she wanted to meet now I am broken again. He is saying that he will call and explain everything nothing is going on there, but I am broken. I did everything for him all my income everything my emotions everything I gave it to him. Still I did not expect anything. How do you make a girl like me understand that I am fucked and I fucking should not talk to him because I know in my head deep inside that it is wrong.
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Is it bad that I am searching his ex?
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