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β€Ί3am Thoughtsβ€ΊThought


So I kind of have a problem with making decisions and saying what I want even with the simplest things like choosing what clothes I’m gonna wear for the day, I’m an 18-year-old girl and my mom still picks for me the clothes I wear every day ( not bc she doesn’t let me do it but bc i tell her to since i can’t do it on my own) making even the most simple decisions stress me out so i’d rather give someone else the responsibility. I’ve been like this since i was very young, I’ve never been able to pick my own clothes that i liked when going into stores, and it’s still like that today(it’s not that don’t know what i want or like, I do but I can’t make the decision,idk if I’m making any sense). I also can never say what I want, when i was little if; let’s say for instance i wanted to go to the park, I’d give my parents hints that I wanted to go but never ask even when I really wanted to and i never understood why yet it’s still like this today. I almost never hang out with ppl cuz im scared to ask if i can go, I’m so scared of being told i can’t do something that i’d rather not ask and never know. Last year my favorite singer came to my town and I wanted to go to the concert but I just couldn’t ask my parents in case they’d say no cuz that would hurt me too much so I asked my friend to talk to my parents and mention it so they’d ask me later, my parents said I could go, they almost always do. It’s so stupid and idk what kind of problem is this, like why am I like this??? I’ve always thought it was very stupid but i can’t help it. I can never say what i mean or make decisions, big or small, i just can’t no matter what it is. It just gives me so much anxiety and i have no idea why it’s such a big deal to me. I know it souds so stupid, I too don’t understand why i do this.

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