Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

share your deepest feelings and emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

āš•ļøDepression

šŸ§‘Anxiety

šŸ˜°Stress

šŸ’—Relationships

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ā€ŗFriendsā€ŗThought

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Anonymous

So I have had a bestfriend who is very toxic and narcissisticā€¦So initially we were just bestfriends but after sometime she caught feelings for meā€¦Basically what happened was she tried with all her crushes and came to me when all of her crushes rejected her. I was always there for her as a bestfriendā€¦I was kinda being usedā€¦ Always forced me to tell her if I like her or notā€¦It was purely platonic for me but she misunderstood me.Even my other guy friends asked me to get into a relationship with her because she was prettyā€¦She kinda forced herself on to me to make me like herā€¦So one day we went out for lunch and had funnn but she really wanted to drink that dayā€¦I donā€™t usually drink but have tried a few times because of peer pressure as a teenā€¦So that day we didnā€™t drink at a pub but we got alcohol from a shop and took it to a random empty building terrace where she gulped down an entire bottle of vodkaā€¦I tried to stop her but couldnā€™t as she drank it very quickly while was on call for a few minutes .after a while she started talking to me and told she liked me because Iā€™d never treat her like her exes or crushesā€¦In a few minutes she said that likes meā€¦When I didnā€™t react or respond much she started verbally abusing my ex.then she called herself to be prettier than my ex and verbally abused my exā€¦Then she was leaning on my shoulder and then she said that she knew I liked her and forcefully tried to kiss me which I rejected. Then she change it to something worse by calling me names and slapped me once I knew she was drunk so ignored it too.Now she said I know what you guys like and she tried unbuttoning my clothes and climbed up on me.She tried to touch me in a very in appropriate way tbh I felt so disgusted when she laid her hands on my crotch.She asked me to touch her and my reaction was I froze .I never anticipated that my bestfriend and I would be in such a situation. She threatened to make noise or shout if I tried to tell her to stop. But luckily she started puking immediately while she was trying to kiss me .The worst memory I have to carry is that she tried to kiss me after puking. This was a terrible experience a lot of people said there is nothing that can be done about it so I should consider it as fun but I felt extremely violated and disgusted. Thank god she started puking the alcohol out. We stayed on the random terrace while she refused to go home and I finally convinced her and had to drop her home.I spoke to her mom and told her she was at a ladies pg and got drunk there with her classmate and they couldnā€™t drop her due to their curfew. After this the next day she picked up a fight and we stopped talking for a while.I could understand that she was feeling rejected and was not in a good condition but that doesnā€™t justify her actions. I donā€™t understand how movies have changed the perception that seducing someone can make them fall in loveā€¦We did talk after the incident and tried to be friends like before but she wasnā€™t worthā€¦letting her in and letting her to mess with my mind put me to a worse of situation. I liked her but not the way she wanted me toā€¦Thereā€™s another very toxic thing that keeps happening which is she uses me to talk about her problems and then treat ne like trash and I have been manipulated and I was forgiving for a while but stopped recently .I just canā€™t tell anyone how I felt without people fantasizing about it .I feel disgusted and she is a big trigger for me the thought of her or a she trying to contact me ruins my mind and I just hate myself because I liked her .

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1 reply
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Anonymous
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Hey there. Itā€™s not your fault that you thought about her as a good friend and liked her as a person in the start. Not everyone is same in the inside as they appear to be from their outer appearance. You did a good job by cutting this toxic friendship from your life. Those memories still disgust you but it will stop at some point eventually and whenever it haunts try to think about how you ended it and itā€™s not gonna happen again ever. Hope you recover from this šŸ‘

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