Thought

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Anonymous

So I have a job but I dnt think this is what I want to do in my life. I am not blaming anyone for it because this I chose for myself. But now that I am almost 2yrs + in this field, I feel this employer employee thing doesn’t work for me and I want to do something which is more happening, something that excites me everyday and I feel happy doing it. I dnt have to make excuses or find reasons to skip it. I have a daughter. I feel I need sometime now to spend with her, relax and think on what is it I want to do ahead. But this thing I am not able to communicate it right with my husband. His perspective is more like, these are some common things everyone faces at the early stages of their life. But after a point u either get used to it or get over it. Or he thinks these are because of my monthly hormone surges! I so badly want to tell him that there exists a class of people who probably don’t necessarily fit into this kind of a system. They probably look at things differently. They too have loans and a family to look after too. But what’s the point trying to save money if u r not happy doing it. U may not be alive to enjoy it also. My mood swings are real bad. It’s taking a toll on my health now and my kid’s too. I had met a doc post delivery wherein she had told me that I showed signs of post partum depression. My husband too was informed abt it. But somehow he thinks it’s not the case with me. He thinks it was just a passing phase because I was home and dnt go to work so I was making all this in my head. I am tired of telling and expressing to him that there is something constantly bothering me and I am not feeling good about it. Since I dnt find a positive support from him, I stopped seeing the doc. I don’t know if things have piled up now and are making me feel worse. But right now, I badly need a break. I dnt feel like sharing it with anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I hope some stranger friend would because I have lost hopes from dear ones!

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Simran Patel @simranpatel

Hey, thanks for sharing. I totally understand your situation. I was in an internship for 3 months and I didn’t enjoy doing it because I wanted something else out of my life and until I left it, the feelings stayed. I think right now, you should focus on going after what really excites you. Even if you get used to this job, you won’t truly be happy. Don’t be afraid to go after something you really want. Take a break. Go on a mini vacation with your daughter. It will help you get things into perspective. Much love❤️

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