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Anonymous

So, I had to start working at a company in June and the joining got delayed. They still haven’t given me a joining date. I’m in my hometown since 3 months and I feel depressed. I feel that I don’t have any purpose. I don’t know how to pass my day. I have been so stressed and on edge lately. Everything is frustrating. I’m just so upset and angry and that is getting projected on other people. I have not been sleeping well, I’ve been dreaming a lot - about the job, home, etc. I don’t like living with my family, I want to move out. I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t understand why I’m doing this (living). Why I’m going through all this, for what, everyone has to die one day and I’ll not really be having an impact on anyone.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @simranpatel
Profile picture for Now&Me member @drishtigupta
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5 replies

Anant @anant

Hey. You don’t know how much I relate to this… my college got over in may and i m at home since then. I still don’t have a job and i dont know what I’m doing with life… i am glad you have that job to look forward to…

No one 111 @jarul

This happens to a lot of people at all ages. Keep calling them. Don’t be scared to show how eager you are. It’s now desperation, trust me. You are desperate if you are, it doesn’t matter there are no jobs out there. Don’t stop trying

Profile picture for Now&Me member @simranpatel

Simran Patel @simranpatel

Hey! It’s commendable how you had the courage to put your thoughts down in words. You have already taken the first step to overcoming your emotions. Hang in there, the joining date will come as it may, until then, keep yourself occupied and find other temporary jobs/internships that interest you. It might help you keep your mind off things for a while. Just remember, you are strong and you have got this! :)

Profile picture for Now&Me member @drishtigupta

Drishti Gupta @drishtigupt...

The joining got delayed and that was not in your control. I would just like to say that please don’t hold yourself accountable for external things which cannot be controlled by you. I am sure once your job commences, you will feel that purpose again and you will do work that will have an impact on everyone and everything around you. I understand that feeling of being at home all day and not feeling a sense of purpose, but trust me, you’ll get there. You’ll get through this. There was a point in my life when I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I made a lot of wrong decisions but ultimately, I understood what I wanted to do. You’ll do great. Just keep at it. Try to enjoy this time with your family because you don’t know when you’ll be able to spend this much time with them again once you move out. Try to make the best of what you have right now :) More strength and power to you. All the best!

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Anonymous

Dear person,
This reminds me of myself when I was in school and the summer break would start every year, and it used to be great the first few days, even first few weeks but after that the only thing that made them nice was KNOWING that they would end, and that’s what made the break so special. I can understand how frustrating this must be for you, since you must have made so many plans about how you wanted your life to be like. And I’m not saying it is correct that you get angry with the ones around you because of this, but sometimes there are certain periods in one’s life that can be testing times, so don’t feel guilty for lashing out on them, I’m sure they will understand. Sometimes when we start thinking very deeply and questioning one’s existence, everything can seem inconsequential and minuscule. And you’re not wrong, I think we all feel like that from time to time. We are all just running, with no real sense of purpose. Because sometimes I think to myself, well…if the planet isn’t going to be around for another 50 years, who am I to challenge it? Why don’t I already do what I want to do. It’s a classic case of rumination. Don’t worry, what you’re going through is absolutely understandable, any person in your position would have felt the same way. My recommendation to you would be to use this time as a productive break, doing all that you like doing, doing all that you wouldn’t be able to do once your job starts. Perhaps volunteer somewhere? Or join a part time internship somewhere? Or maybe a dance class, or yoga class. All these are external distractions which really help and give a sense of routine and purpose, but ultimately you have to be at peace from the inside, and that will only come once you have understood and accepted the fact that this isn’t what you had wanted and that’s okay and there are other avenues for you to explore and maybe this was just a sign, that you are meant for other things? Maybe a chance for you to explore your passion.

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