so here goes my story. i dont think its anything new. so i got involved with a younger guy. i thought i will not fall for him but i accidently caught feelings for the dude. my mistake. he used to tell me he loved me and i was stupid enough to believe him. i tried breaking up with him multiple times but we kept getting back together. yeah i was not happy in the relationship. but when i decided that i will stop all the bullshit and try to make the relationship work he decided to break up with me and it hit me hard. at first i used to avoid him thinking he doesnt want me anymore but then he started avoiding me. he blocked me everywhere. i started to get a taste of my own medicine and it hurt sooo bad. later on i got angry at him for breaking up with me and it pissed him of more. and he was really rude to me. that shit broke me. even now its been months. but there is this ache in my heart that makes me feel heavy . i feel this sinking feeling. its basically bugs me soo much. i have thought of reaching out to him. but i am afraid he will block me again or like ignore or be rude to me. and then i think he was rude to me so i dont want him to see me as crazy or desperate. my life has been a downhill from there. everyday it hurts and everyday i am clueless as to what i should do to make myself feel a little better. the best days in my life are when i forget to remember him. those days i feel at peace and happy. i hate myself for feeling this way over a guy. i hope this miserable feeling would just disappear and somehow something out there would set me free.