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So confused.
The situation is the following. Me (24F) and my partner (40M) have been living together for two years now and we are certain that we want to start a family together. There are some problems especially for me to start a family where we currently live and it is because in this city they speak my native language but it’s a co-oficial language, the other it’s a language that only this region speaks in the whole world and at school it’s mandatory to learn it. So my future children will be speaking my native language but obligated to receive classes in a language that me and my partner don’t know and we won’t learn it because in the professional field it’s useless. We won’t be able to help them with school besides the fact that they will have no use of this language in any other country. So at first we agreed that eventually we will have to move out to start a family. Yes we own an apartment here, all of my partner’s frieds and family live here but not any of mine so I get he has more to lose than me… So next year I graduated from university and I’m ready to leave but my partner says that he doesn’t want to plan anything so when I come up to places, countries, cities and visas we can apply for (he’s a skilled worker with +10 year experience) he says that I’m not planning enough that I’m not taking in considerantion all the requirements that’s way I come to him but he says he doesn’t want to think about it. I’m driving myself crazy because I want to know what lenguage to learn or get a diploma, I want to make an internships in that place before we move there but he’s unable to plan It with me and we had this same conversation over and over again so I told him that leaves me all alone making the decisions and actually doing things that will be easy for me to move to that place. I feel guilty and confused because it’s like I’m planning for the future bymyself for myself because I can’t count on him or have a single clue of what he wants to do next year.

Am I being the a-hole? what do I feel so terrible If I’m doing things like exactly how I want my future to be like?

1 reply

Shashidhar @shashidhar117

Hey there!! I can see you facing problem of married couples without being married. And you wanna move out only for kids schooling?
You can try international schools? Check for this option also.
Just sitting alone and thinking and taking decision only by you will completely drain your energy and health.
Confront him if he really interested in moving out


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