SHUT DOWN
banging the doors way to hard
shutting down all the phases and zones,
living through the crust
yet mending my way.
like fossils take years to replenish
it's the same chain i say,
all it is that i know is heal
and smile vivify that span.
yet felt grinched all around 
still rutilant and sassing days.......

3am Thoughts

Will you marry a girl who had a past with many things ? 


Girlfriend

I planned my one vacation a year around d his surgery so I could take care of him.
I paid for the hotel, meals, everything to make it easy and comfortable for him. As we pull in he starts saying all these really mean things and calls me a fu****g c**t.




Emotional Abuse

How can you tell if your boyfriend is losing feelings for you? 

Boyfriend

it’s just so evil how the kardashians push laxative teas, shapewear, body foundation etc. on their huge audience and pass it off as some kind of empowering statement to make girls “feel good”

Mental Health

I never wanted to go against my father as I know their views on people having love marriage n all and didn't want to ruin the lil bond I have with him and he's proud of me like I have no interest in all that and very early like in my school days also he indirectly said he will not tolerate this at all. So I never dated anyone in my life... And nor I look for. But I am 23 now when I see people in love n all I wish I had someone too and again I don't want relationship coz I have trust issues and what if someone will just use me.. as there are playboys I met mostly. 
Also I don't want to marry ever too Coz I have seen life after marriage changes completely, and I want freedom. I can't think myself binded with someone and what if they are not like good, caring, loving n all. 
Also I find myself very alone in this world when I see everywhere people dating, having relationships, heartbreak n all but I had never, when it comes to me I don't have a story. People just get shock that I never been in relationship and don't even want. It makes me feel low. 
I don't know if I will fall in love with someone or trust him. I do talk to guys and I think if I will get married either I will not be enough for him or maybe he will not good too me. 
This I have never told to anyone now I am feeling better.. If you read this far thank you

Confusion

Any advice on writing music?

Music

I literally have no emotion or any will of feeling anymore and i don’t like it cause it makes me feel not whole

Breakup

Coming out as gendefluid seems really nice but keeping a roof over my head seems better

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