SHUT DOWN
banging the doors way to hard
shutting down all the phases and zones,
living through the crust
yet mending my way.
like fossils take years to replenish
it's the same chain i say,
all it is that i know is heal
and smile vivify that span.
yet felt grinched all around 
still rutilant and sassing days.......

3am Thoughts

Is there any doctor here?
Plssss

Physical Health

How are you feeling?

My ex boyfriend texted me that he suffers and he is not productive at his work and many other things that made me conclude that he had depression.I texted him back that it will be good from my opinion for him to see a Psychologist because this may help him with his depression and trauma and he said back:you said that I am stupid in the past so why do you think a Psychologist will help me if I am so stupid?this was like an attack to me and I told him because you feel bad and if  you are texting me that you want to die and have depression a Psychologist may help you.And he said back :I don’t need your advice,thanks and I told him that I am trying to find a good Psychologist that may help him and he answered back: find one for yourself. And he told me also help yourself first before helping others.And I told him :I was giving you a suggestion in order to feel better because I know you suffer for long time. And he asked me where is the result that my Psychologist helped me?and I said that I dont want to prove him anything.Do you think he acts weird?why then he texts me how bad he feel ,that he wants to die and gets mad when I offered to help him?is his behavior normal?I feel like he attacks me back because I suggested him that he may need help and told me back:get help for yourself-to make me feel like something with me its not ok ,like I am the one who needs help not him…what do you think about his behavior?🙏

Relationships

nothing beautiful more than who is unlucky in relationship loved by a right person immensely

Love

I feeling friends soo happy why my group in on to chat with friends. I really like the app i know the app Very properly. And i know how to talk new friends on this app. I really suggest to join groups and chat new People's and good evening to all my friends and buy. 

Ive been recently rethinking my relarionship with my bf, as i am begining to doubt he is as good and healthy to me as i originally was convinced. He gets very jelous, up to the point where ive had to read chats with male friends out loud to him while he is crying in a panic attack. I had to quit my job and go back to my home town for dental treatment (severe past trauma), bc only this crazy doctor wanted to treat me. It was hard bc i had to enter long distance relationship mode, and additionally my parents despise him bc i want to live with him and not with them to do their work. The guy helped me out of depression, helped me stop taking pills and helped me stop making myself into everyones emotional wastebin. However, my parents, hating him, decided they would blackmail him into getting a loan for them. This poisoned our relationship as well, and bc my mom isnt really ok in the head, at this point he has given me 24 hours to take the measures i need to take to get outof here, even if it means calling the cops on my parents, as well as child services (i have 3 younger siblings). With all the good things hes done to me, hes also called me pathetic a number of times, and held me responcible for things he had done for me without me even knowing he had, bc i " didnt appreciate them". If i havent done the neccassery by 24 hours, he is dumping me.
If i go to him, it means strapping myself with loans that need paying, my mom says she will also find a way to sue him, dad is saying i will never get a glimpse of my family again. My bf convinces me its the better choice, that they are toxic, horrible people, and that he will help out with me paying stuff. (he also sees me pathetic, with a whorish behaviour bc i have male friends at all, even tho i rarely go outor talk to them at all).
Other option is i stay here, we break up, it kills me. Illnever forgive my parents, but ill have no chouce but to help out with the business i hate so that my loans can be paid up. Meanwhile i work extra and potentially gather enough money to get myself a flat under rent in the city i left where my bf is.
I love this biy so much, but he is so exteme and isforcing me to be extreme as well and i cant handle that so easily. I cant just call foster care or the police, its not that simple, it never is when its your own family.
Can anyone give me an advice on how to proceed? 

My crush called me today and I was busy she told me she will wait but after sometime she said she will talk to me by tomorrow 

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