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Anonymous
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Should I ask my crush out or reject her? I’m currently in my senior year and I know we’ve both have liked each other for years. The only problem is my gut is telling me not to date her but my mind is telling me to give her a chance.

She’s a nice girl but I feel nervous around her and she’s really shy around me. She has a hard time looking me in the eye and gives brief answers to my questions yet still goes out of her way to talk to me and be around me. The biggest uncertainty I have I whether or not we’ll get along or have things in common. We hang out in different social circles so that’s why I’m worried about that. She hangs out with the popular crowd while I hang out with more nerdy / low key people. I’m also worried about if my nerves will go away by getting to know her. But I’ve also been told to always listen to your gut.

Should I give her a chance, get to know her and see where things go or tell that we shouldn’t date at all because things might not work out?

12 Comments
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snktmore
@snktmore

Not trying because you may fail is not a right way to live life. You should definitely ask her out. Either you guys will be together or you will be friends.

Just don’t rush to get into serious relationship. Spend time together and then give it a chance. Best of luck buddy!!

j
@jackschaner

I was in the same situation one time… I advise you to take your chances while you have them. Its very, incredibly tough to do something like asking out a girl, trust me ive been there, but its better to ask her now rather than decide later that you should have done it when you could have.
Best of luck.

Anonymous

Thanks for the advice. I think i’ll just ask her out and hope every thing turns out okay. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened in your situation?

j
@jackschaner

Sure.
So I had a crush on a girl for a while. Later on, I found out via her friends she liked me back. Yet I was still nervous as hell to ask her out, its still hard to think about what could go right but easy to think about what could go wrong.
I know you will be in a better situation than me though when it comes to asking her out.
All of my friends and her friends were there which made it a million times harder, but obviously covid will prevent that for you.
When I did it, she accepted. If this is your first time asking out someone, then it will feel fricking horrifying once you do it. But later on, when she says yes, its gonna boost your confiedence a whole bunch.

Good luck once again. If you dont know what to say you can reach out again.

Anonymous

Dang, having to ask your crush out in front of a bunch of people must have sucked. That’s Tuff. Anyways thanks for the advice. Last 2 questions tho, what should I say when asking her out? I feel like just being honest about liking her and asking her if she felt the same way. Does this sound like a good idea?

Also, how do I make her more comfortable around me? I get a little nervous around her but i’m not a shy guy at all when it comes to talking with people. She’s said it herself on multiple occasions that she’s a shy person and I don’t want us to feel uncomfortable around each other forever 😦.

j
@jackschaner

Ok heres what I would do: I would ease your way into it. Get her comfortable and talking about herself, or just having a conversation. being honest is always a good idea, so maybe say something along the lines of “I just wanted to tell you that I have feelings for you. Would you maybe want to _______ (whatever you want for a first date)” or something. Idk, its harder over text. Im assuming your asking her over text bc of covid?

And heres what Ive always done to make situations comfortable: humor. Its ok if maybe you dont consider yourself funny, it can be as simple as adding some irony to the situation.

And heres a big pointer: make sure shes ok with everything. Like try and say what it would be like in her perspective, that shows you understand her. Oh, and apologize a lot lol. Say things like “sorry if this is too sudden, i get why you feel ____” or “You can wait on it if you want to, no rush”
Those were just things that might get you extra points with her haha. Just try to be as open as possible and try to relate to her.

Wishing you luck!

j
@jackschaner

Hey, so whatever happened with you and her? How did it go? And if you havent yet-Thats totally okay, dont feel like your expected or have to do it.

shithappens
@shithappens

You’ll never know unless you try. Opportunities sometimes knock once, and once you missed it, you might regret it later so better give it a shot at least you’ll have no “what ifs” right?

pewdiefan
@pewdiefan

Ask her out.

j
@jackschaner

Hey, did you do it yet? If so, how did it go? If not, thats totally fine. Make sure you are comfortable doing it.

Anonymous

Oh i asked this question in advance before the school year starts. One quick question. I’m a big introvert and she’s sort of an introvert too. WIll this be a problem? I’m scared i’ll ruin every thing because I like a lot of alone time.

j
@jackschaner

So im more of an extrovert, and so was my crush, it worked out well. Maybe because she is an introvert as well, she will understand that you want to be alone? I think it will turn out fine if she likes you back, which you said you know. But I would recomend coming out of your comfort zone a little bit and maybe spend some more time with her if she allows it-if you like her Im guessing you would want to spend time with her. And just know to not feel unwanted if she wants the same thing.