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Lia @leelia

Right now there are a lot of things that I regret, I’m not the type of person to regret things since I’ve always said that everything happens for a reason and what I’ve done in the past is something I would never change cuz it makes me the person that I am today, however lately I haven’t been feeling that way. There’s someone who I’ve been missing a lot lately, someone whom I wish I would’ve told my feelings to sooner, we started to get close right by the time Corona started so we haven’t seen each other since then. Now we don’t even go to the same school anymore, there’s a lot of things I wanted to tell this person but never did. Every day I wonder how would everything be if I did and said what I actually meant at the time instead of doing the opposite like I always do I always messed up trying to do the right thing. The more that I think about it I feel like even if I could go back in time I would do the same again, why? Well, cuz I’m too scared of what could happen if I did things differently, how could that affect my life, I’m afraid of a lot of things and because of that is that I live my life always like this I always let go of everything bc I’m too afraid of what else I could lose if I took it, I could be happier I guess but what I might lose trying to achieve that happiness is what keeps me from even trying. I always live my life the same way every single day, because I already know what it’s like to live like this I’ve gotten used to it so if I continue living like this what could go wrong? Right? But still, it doesn’t feel right. But I guess I’ll just keep living like that. I would like to go back in time tho, not to change anything bc I know I won’t but to relive those moments I didn’t appreciate enough and to live them again allowing myself to feel, to cry,to be sad,to love and to be happy i feel bad for waisting my time like i did. I can’t go back time so now all i have are memories I just wish I could rewrite those memories so that I could remember them how they were supposed to be remembered, I was happy but I was too afraid of what that happiness meant and what the consequences of it could be that I never allowed myself to be fully happy.

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2 replies
@daksh

hi leelia , i think its important that you understand there will be times where you feel youve missed out on an opportunity but lets look at the brighter side what if theres something better for you in store .
and if still you feel like youre missing out just follow your heart and do it . dont think about the consequences in your heart youll know you tried . you gave it all you have . im a similar kinda person who doesnt have regrets but if theres something troubling you just go for it .

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Lia @leelia

Thank you, I’ll try to do that, now i just would really like to go back in time but i know i can’t so i guess ill just try my best so that this doesn’t happen again in the future but still it’s really complicated for me. I always say things that i don’t mean and regret in the moment as i say and do the opossite of what i want to and i distance myself from the people i care about the most what people thing of me is really not who i truly am at all since i never act like i want to and the way i say i feel or i portray myself to be like isn’t really who i am but i just got used to acting like this. I don’t know what to do all my problems are caused by me and only me im the problem in my life i wish i wasn’t so complicated even the simplest I turn them into a much more complicated situation i always complain about what happens but i caused that so why am i even complaining. I hope i can do better in the future.

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