Ridiculous - while other people have real problems I am here whining about not knowing which direction to go in life. I have career-related and decision-related anxiety. It gets really bad when I need to make any decision regarding my next step in life - I can’t sleep, my body feels numb and stiff and I can barely focus my mind - and I feel so guilty for all the waste this has led to. All the missed opportunities. Finding career focus is what I need - but instead I squander it all with my indecisiveness. There is something really painful about knowing that you are the sole reason for your unhappiness. And that you do it to yourself every single day. Looking at the mirror feels like looking at a loser. A person who would apply for funded PhDs, get interviews, get offers and then turn them down because of fear of commitment and not being able to just decide on a path and stick to it. This is literally the worse thing in my life and I know I sound like a little whiny bitch but sometimes it feels like hell, a hell that I have created with my own mind. My mind is my biggest enemy.
idk what to say but one thing I can say don’t feel guilty of yourself/yours past " don’t let the past to blackmail your present and to ruin beautiful future " whatever has happened in past u cant put down yourself of that its ok to make mistake and we all do mistake that makes a human being. Are you kidding me you are loser no way in some way you are an achiever and goal-oriented person.do
I think u should try meditation it would help your mind quite a lot and make it heaven again. it is a worth try I guess. Hope you tell us how that works out for you
There is an extraordinary career ahead of you and 100% sure you will make it.