Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Recently results of this competitive exam(KVPY) were declared. I did not qualify. It was my dream to get into IISER but that’s shattered. I am still trying to process it and thinking about what I would do next with my career. My parents are really disappointed. They are sad because they expected me to get a good score and probably end up in IISER with a good branch. But they need to understand that I wasn’t studying to complete their expectations. Their expectations are broken but my dream is shattered and I don’t know what I’m gonna do now. Instead of conforting me and helping me out, my mom said some really mean and absurd things to me. Instead of saying all those to me, a few words of condolence would have been appreciated so much or just a hug saying it will all be okay. She thinks that I’m not studying properly and I don’t care about my future. Little does she knows that it’s difficult studying when you are depressed and going through so much. And she saying all those things is just making it worse. I already know that I’m letting them down but they don’t have to remind me that every single day. Directly or indirectly they tell me how I’m disappointing them and how they have lost all the hope in me and thinks that I wouldn’t do something great in life. This has made me lose all the hope and confidence. Now, I feel like I’m just going with the flow and don’t know where I will end up. I don’t have the energy and confidence to it proper direction. I’m scared what if I make another mistake and what if it just ruins my career…