Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Recently realised that I’ve high anxiety…
I never knew that I was anxious every single minute…idk…I mean I’ve been speaking shit since few hours…idk what’s happening…I’m freaking out…maybe because I’ve a seminar tomorrow…but idk out of order…
This time when I joined the college…I was all enthuastic and wanted to do wonders…I wanted to be better…I wanted to interact with people…I wanted to study smart…I wanted to be the best version I ever was…but gradually…I gave up unknowingly…I didn’t want to try…I was all done…I try to motivate myself but that doesn’t seem to work for long…I wonder how people stay so persistent…it flatters me for real…its hard…hatsoff to such people…I chose this course out of my own interest and now I feel tired and unenthusiastic…I’m always depressed,anxious and unsatisfied…I wanted to come out of my comfort zone,talk to people but nah! Again I went back to that introverted me stage. I feel like…everyone around me is a group and I stand alone…this happens to me everytime I try to get better…everytime someone with say shit about me that somehow will reach me and I withdraw myself from everything…I know I shouldn’t do that…I shouldn’t be affected by people’s words…but it so happens that I can’t control…I d k what I’m gonna do…God alone knows