Reasons why I shouldn't think about relationship or marriage

Over 30
Mentally unfit
Not attractive
Don't have any relationship or sexual experience, women prefer men with experience

 i can only fantasize and day dream of ever being in one.
I lose in the game of hypergamy, don't have any high quality traits women look for in a guy
Impotent ( another Major red flag)

Lonely

When you going through a self-doubt phase and then someone close to you support your self-doubt.
How depressing is this, instead of motivating they participate in degrading your dreams.

Depression

*I thought you will be there
I thought you really cared
I thought you will never do this to me
How really can you unhear? 💔
What's going on in your mind ?
I really got some time
What I really did?
What really was my crime?...💔🥀*

Breakup

You are never going to miss out on things that’s meant for you !! Whether it’s that place you wanna visit but couldn’t or the guy/girl who rejected you. Whatever is meant for you will come to you! So let go off everything and stay happy. Coz in the end even if you are having a bad day just lie down listen to ur fav songs and write down ur thoughts/emotions here or journal it. It helps guys! Love yourself be yourself! 

Gratitude

So 
 today i ended my 15 years of friendship. 
Because it was getting too toxic for me. I read messages where they were speaking absurd about me. And then claiming that it was just  a normal conversation.  I had a mental breakdown and i wasn't really doing well. But none of my those friends understood me :) they named my mental breakdown a " drama " . 
I always made sure that i was available for them when they needed someone to comfort them. But when it was my turn,  none of them.. not even my bestfriend understood me. Inturn they are blaming me and behaving rude to me like i've done a crime. 
I don't regret ending my 15 years of friendship.  I am just hurt that they think i am fake :) 

Friends

So just a few days back me, my mom and her mom went to a big store with like 8 floors of things so we were in the ground floor waiting for the elevator when I saw a man standing opposite to me and then after sometime I was just looking around and then noticed that the man was now standing right behind me ...I felt a little weird but I left it then when the elevator opened we all went in and the man came and stood right next to me even when there was plenty of space ....and then after sometime I saw he was shaking something (his penis ) and was looking at me at the same time...I just became numb there I couldn't do anything and when we reached the 8th floor he started comming near me but I held on to my mom and told her that he was trying to touch me because I couldn't say he was masturbating looking at me and she yelled at him and he took a u turn and went ....I let my mom do the shopping while I just sat on the sofa crying my eyes out because I'm usually the person who would say others to fight for themselves but I couldn't...I just stood there numb ....how can anyone do that . 

Harassment

Hope is a two face coin other side is hold by despair 

Mental Health

Recently I've been picking my face a lot. idk if its because of anxiety or stress. My face is so scratched up...

Acne

Its 1 year to lockdown in india because of pandamic. As situation of covid 19 is again increasing. I am becoming more and more anxious of this .....
Actually last year was very rough for me i have lost my job, have seen domestic voilence in my family during last year. Mental emotional pressure was at its peak. I am very worried if lockdown happens again everyone in my family will be at home... N again those things will happen which will be out of my reach to handle...... 

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