Really, i m feel that should have one understanding n mature female friend with whom I can chatt, talk, hangout and share my day day stuffs

Girlfriend

Heyy Guy's, I m here to make New friends so please do connect with me

Friends

I just don't want to get attached. Not if all of it will disappear .

-Anne, Anne with an 'E' (2019)



Movies

How are you finding the platform? Is it helpful? 

3am Thoughts

To be honest I want to work till my mid 50s  and then leave everything behind and go to the Himalayas, and live like a monk. Probably that is the only place where toxicity and negativity cannot reach and I want to find peace within me. 

Yesterday was the last day of my college. I received an award for my performance in the past one year. I did receive a lot of appreciation messages from my school friends and my college teachers, but nothing much from my own classmates, when they actually appreciated the others who have been awarded. Also, when it comes to asking doubts , they always pin me! I am so confused with what exactly is happening. I don't really know where exactly the problem lies. I don't know if it's because they hate me or whatever . I suppose they think that I am not much worthy of the award. This is when I tend to doubt myself. 
I know it's not possible to make all the people happy.. The fact that I will have to deal with more such people in my life is actually depressing. This is just pulling my confidence level so much. 

Stress

Come on guys tell me what did you do with your first profit/salary!

Ill go first 
I gave it to my Mom at the age of 16 and it was 6000₹ 
Joy on her face was out of the world


Now your turn

I feel like, will the people whom I consider as my dear and loved ones will cry if I die today or tomorrow? Will they miss me? Will they talk about me to their other friends and family and partners in future? 

I know I am a person who has fear of abandonment for which I have trust issues and insecurities. I know why I have this, this is because of a traumatic event that happened when I was born. 


I have this friend, a very dear friend of mine. I don't love him in a romantic manner, but more in a platonic manner. He's a safe space for me. He has always been a safe space. I know him since the last 2 years, but feels like I know him since years because everything with him is easy, he makes things easy for me to express. But we do have rough times, arguments where he doesn't talk to me or cuts off for a few days. This time, we had an argument...  Almost 15 days ago, and I asked him to draw some fucking boundaries and do not ever talk to me. Asked him to maintain some distance. Now, we meet after a year (because pandemic)... And both of us were very excited to meet each other. And it was so awkward when we meet, because none of us hugged. None of us has properly talked to each other. 

I honestly don't know what to do. I feel so helpless and I feel like I'm lossing him. This one time he was talking about his crush, and I insisted him confessing his feelings to the girl while we were on a call, he texted me "I really like you very much" and I saw his message after 20-30 minutes. When I asked him, he was like " I said it just like that" and all. My friends say, he's definitely into me. I don't know to be very honest. All I know is, he's my safe space when I'm drunk or when I'm sober. And I can't lose a friend like him. I don't know how to approach him, how to talk to him. And I have this feeling, that he will leave me.

He often compares himself with other male friends of mine and say "so now he's sweet to you and not I, huh". 
He's sweet. He gives up his window seat for me. Never allows me to rest my head against a window, he always makes sure I pass out in our cab rides on his shoulders. During a film festival, this one time I was dog tired, and sleepy. My head was hanging in air while I was sleeping, he took my head and rested it on his shoulders and when I woke up, I was literally in his arms, in a half hug position. His head was on my head,and the half hug. It's so sweet of him. And this happened for like 3-4 times. He's so sweet and adorable that to lose him is a loss.

My mind is a solid mess and hence the thoughts here are in a messy way as well. I tried my best to write in a structured manner but I couldn't. 




Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts