Cin @lovelycin
Please excuse any miss spelled words or missing words or if something doesn’t make sense or if I sound all over the place I tend to just express and jump all overHello everybody. I feel like I’m kind of stuck on making a decision and I of course know only I can make this decision but maybe expressing myself and seeing other thoughts on what I kind have been dealing with and having hearing some feed back from strangers might help. So basically a long story short. I have been in my current relationship for over 7 maybe 8 years now and I been through it all from being cheated on lied to verbally abused never abused physically thankfully and great full but verbal abuse isn’t any better I know. So basically yes I stuck around for my reasons of just being a VERY EXTREMELY KIND understanding individual/Partner because I also seen how my partner was raised and wasn’t raised in way of respecting people but overtime things did get better with respecting me but there are times where he does get out of hand and disrespect verbally again because of disagreements and just because I finally stop taking his crap and sticking up for myself. I notice that since I have started doing this sticking up for myself because I get triggered from him getting loud with me or disrespectful with me I started bring myself out of character and become something I am not in the sense of maybe saying things that will trigger him like being sarcastic which I know he doesn’t like but I do again in way because of the past of constant disrespect and hurt. I have also being trying to move on and forgive for his past history of what he has done but I feel like I am still stuck because I am trying to heal but can’t fully heal because of little things that trigger me from the past like the disrespect of his behavior from when he was either again cheating disrespecting. Should I give myself time to heal separately in living space and stop working on clearly a DAMAGED relationship and see where things go. In the back of my head I know this the answer DUH but why is it that it’s just much easier said then done, why does life also make it hard to do this because of the living situation
Well it depends upon you
Cause others can be empathetic or sympathize with you
But it’s your life and your story
So you are the best one to take decision
Cin @lovelycin
Yes I agree that I can make this decision.
Even i have been in such relationships from past 4 years , we both are to be blamed , but i love her and i know she can be much better, it’s just her bad phase
I will say in the end it’s about the love i guess or how important that person is to you
Cin @lovelycin
There is love for sure but maybe not the same love that was once there but I know the love for your partner can change when the person changes because everybody in life changes over the years and you have to learn to love this new person they can become in life.
Trust me , it feels like i don’t even know her anymore. But i know she is not this person, it’s just her past and everything and me also bieng harsh on her sometimes, she just don’t understand things someway and blames me caus she didn’t get it , but i know that i love her too much to let her go or suffer this way
Cin @lovelycin
Agreed. I just believe my trauma through out the 7 to 8 years of being with him and the change just happened about I would say maybe 1 and half years now started and it’s just frustration and trauma part of wanting this change to happen so long ago when my patients was still there trying to make it work so hard. I don’t know if maybe I’m just giving up now and then there’s day I don’t want to give up which that part of me that wants to keep fighting for our LOVE
Ohh tell me about it , she gets on my nerves and don’t even apologies for it , since last one year we have not been talking directly but she says that she loves me alot , alot of things happened, it does make me angry but the thing is i can’t be angry with her for long time , right now also i am waiting for her to show up but i guess she won’t come
Cin @lovelycin
YES I couldn’t be angry with him for to long either but then no recently since we had an dispute over me being upset because I have been with out my car for two weeks because I’m waiting for my car to be fixed for some recall and they keep pushing the date further out to pick it up because it’s not done yet. He was mad that I was made but he got a little to out of hand with me. I had attitude I will definitely admit that for sure and got a little loud but when I have that little attitude and yelling it’s like he feels the need to get even louder and become disrespectful towards me like damn I didn’t know we was in battle of who can sound more angrier towards I’m another!
You see this feeling that you have is not good
I mean you both should sit down and talk things out thats the best thing you can do , it will have to be done from both the end, you see understanding is any type of relationship is most important, without understanding, all love , care , compassion , gratitude everything is waste. That’s the biggest problem betweene and her , we are not understanding each other and how could we if she don’t or can’t have one on one conversation with me , tell me everything about it , i want to know so i can do better and don’t hurt her in future , healing is very imp and she just don’t get it
Cin @lovelycin
I agree completely I know we do need to sit down and definitely talk this through so we can decided on where our future is headed with each other but I also feel like a broken recorded at this point because we keep going backwards we make the steps to move further when we do speak but then We are back to where the conversation we had where we was trying to move forward from.
See relationship are both ways , if you both want each other together, then it will work out , fight it out and resolve , don’t be a broken record, i know how it feels to be one , cause right now i am like that but i know once i have a clear convo with her we will move forward, cause i need it , that deep conversation, a clear one, cause it hurts to be on the dark side , apologies and working towards your future what one should focus on , not the past ,
I told you she won’t show up didn’t i ? I was right and now if i get pissed she will be like you don’t care or love me or etc etc , when i only come here to meet her
Cin @lovelycin
Oo noo that’s not right. See I have to see my partner everyday because we live and there is kids involved. Which only makes things a lot harder
allen christ @allen1123
Hello
raj @rajmeena
Hi
im no one to make the decision for you, but my suggestion is also this that you take a break from him for sometimes. being in relation is stressful espically in this messy one.
maybe he might also realise your worth when u are gone from his life and give you the respect you the respect you deserve ( not need ).
Cin @lovelycin
I agree 1000% with you on this is has been on my mind so heavily!!!
Hope everything goes well for you…
Bless ya!!
