Placement stress: placements nhi horaha bohot dukhi hu bhai pata nhi kuch kuch samaj nhi aaraha kya karu bohot stress hai pata nhi hog bhi ki nhi kuch aacha nhu laga raha yaar . Aab tho hope bhi nhi hai ki kuch hoga. But negative mind hogya hai kya karu. Roone ka maan karta hai par roo bhi nhi sakta ladka hu na. Pata nhi life mai kuch ho bhi payega ki nhi .........

I have tryed this don't want to try it again

Sabka ho chuka hai 85% ka aab umid nhi hai

Bhai ro lo..koi baat nahii...jarur badhiya karoge aage chalke.. You can handle this.. Acha hi hoga.. Thoda time de lo apne aap ko... Bas aaj ki thodi anxiety h.. Kal tumko lagega ki arey yaar i was worried about this day and i wrote here...

3am Thoughts

Yaha tum kitna bhi logo ko samjhao ,
kitna bhi tum sahi ho jaao ,
tumhe log kitni bhi gali ya damki de rehe hain fir bhi tum chup ho ,
tum fir bhi tum galat insaan hi kheloge .  
but logo ko bhi sochna aur shamjna chahiye ki voh kis reason se chup hai aur voh kyu nahi bol raha hai aur logo ki majburi ko shamjna chahiye
but mujhe aisa lag raha hai yaha logo ko soch or shamj dono hi maar gye hain .

Social Anxiety

uss din kae baad 2021 mae usne phir baat ki or usne meko sara explain kia ki kya hua and all
uske baat 2022 tak vo mere achi mtlb besti ban gai 
or ussae baat karte karte meko feel hone lag gya uske liyae 
or usko bhi kuch feel hota tha but vo sirf last mae har baar yehi kehti ki mae apne bf kae bekarr reh nhi skti 
orrr kal raat jab mae usko sabb bataya to usne meko kha sorry mae tere liae feel nhi karti and block 
pura 1 qnd half year maene usko support kia usko 2 4 bje tak support kia or usko sath ek ek lamha biataye gane vagera gaey 2 bje jab usne baat karni hoti to mae always tha uske liaey but last mae jab esa hota hae na 
to bada feel hota hae abbb lgta hae ki life mae sara kuch mere sath h kyu

Confusion

Hello, I work in wfh based startup here i have a feelings for my office colleague and she is around 2.8 years elder to me and she few months back got cured from blood cancer. I don't know what do, the talks which we go through is quite often is funny and matlab wo funny emoji se react kartin hai and ek baar meine unhe Namaste her name likha tha then she said that your namaste was killer in funny way. 
I think she knows about my feelings i am 100% sure but i am afraid to tell her because darr lagta hai ki kahi dosti kharab na ho jaaye. Mei unke liye flute bhi seekh rha hu abhi jo 2-3 months mei complete ho jaega.

Can anyone suggest what should be done?

Regret ho ra hai I think ki I didn’t enjoy enough. There was so much to do which I didn’t do. Ye nature ka problem hai i guess. Because I am like that, that’s why all this happen. 

I m here after a long time..

Chize sahi hi chal rhi thi itne dino mai lekin vo kahte hai na life ko mai hasti khelti, khush hoti achi nai lagti, usse toh bas kaise bhi yahi dekhna ki " ye syape bina kaise jee rahi, isse toh khush hone nai de sakte jayda time, chalo pange faila de!!" 

So this is how ye waps aati mere pass, matlab ab it was like aise guilt mai maaro jo aapne kiya hi nai na soch sakte ho.. bas kaise na kaise pareshan Karo aur fir sochne per majboor kardo ki jo khushi se jee rahi thi, vo shyad Khushi thi hi nai, ya deserve karti hi nai thi. Alag hi level ka torture chal rha hai.. 

Pata nai life kaha hi lekar jarhi hai.. 





Exhausted

kuch samjh nahi aa raha hai, but pata nahi ye konsi feeling hai , par me khush hu, mere akele pan se, na kisi se koi umid na kisi se koi expectations, bas din bhar kaam me busy raho, aur raat ko sad songs suno, all is well, aisa nai ki dard nai hai, 
Hai, par ab utna nahi jitna pehle tha, ghav bharne lage hai, aur aisa bhi nahi ke uski yaad nahi aati, 
Aati hai, par ab sahaj buddhi ne dil ko sambhalna Sikh liye hai, 
Ab use yaad karke Rona manjoor hai, par uske samne gidgidana nahi, dard bohot hai shayad par lafj  muskurana sikh rahe hai, manjile bohot aage, ab raste dundane hai, kisi ka saath nahi chahiye ab, ab akele me hi bohot khush hai hum, 

Aapki ek manjil dhundti writer 

Mera pasindida mard mujhe hi pasand nai karta
Bohot rona aata hai sochke  hi. Itna ki koi aur uski pasandida aurat hai and ek aur future Mai hogi jiske saath woh khush rahega aur woh sabh kuch karega uske liye joh Mai chahiti ki mere liye kare - flowers, ki$$e$, dates, hugs etc. 
Mai toh thak gayi effort karte karte ki Mera pasandida aadmi mujhe wapas like kare lekin usne bhi thaan Rakhi hai ki usko koi aur pasand hai lekin main kabhi nai. And I have SOOOOOO much love for him that I don't know what to do with it because I always thought I would buy him gifts, bake him Brownies, give him ki$$e$, ki$$ his lips, hug him, let him sleep on my chest
And I keep on convincing myself ki he is my soulmate but to be honest all the crap that he put me through, I don't think he is even thoug I really want him to be. Also, I have this very negative trait, that I think this is best I am ever going to get so I am sad. Kya hai yaar Mai tere liye apni saari kamiya hata dungi, tu Bata toh sahi kya hai woh sabh, I will mold myself into the person you want me to be just like me back please. I don't care how poorly you treat me, I will be here hands on foot waiting for your love. Please love me back. Or if not help me get over you. 


One Sided Love

Mai har din khudhko kuch aise kho rha hu, 
Bina koi mehnat kiye ghanto so rha hu, 
Maine kisika kuch nhi bigara 
Fir bhi logo ki narazgi dhho raha hu, 
Ek atmavishwash hi to bcha tha mere pass 
Mai dheere dheere use bhi kho rha hu, 
Tum meri ankho me akss dhundh rahe ho? 
Nhi milegi, kiuki 
mai ruh se ro rha hu, 
Mai har din khudhko kuch aise kho rha hu...!
-lost🙃

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts