people who have any kind of case of sexual assault/harassment related trauma, please speak to your closest adult and connect to the psychologists available here. your courage will save you and future victims. 

I tried and there's no point speaking to anyone. 

This post should've targeted both men and women, but okay

Women Safety

I am a male and today i saw the man who sexually assaulted me over a year ago for the first time since then and idk how to feel about it

Anxiety

What I'm about to share is something very disturbing. Its something I haven't ever told anyone and its been hurting and burdening me since forever.
All this had happened when my age was between 9 and 12.
It all started when my elder brother started touching me inappropriately. He is 3years older than me. He used to touch me and I didn't understand at that time what was happening. Two or three times when I was asleep he used to touch me weirdly and I would wake but I didn't open my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I didn't know what was happening and what should I do. He's also took off my trousers twice. At first it felt good at that time coz of the hormones and all but eventually I realized what was really happening. I started to stop him and avoid him. 
He started using force. Once I was in the shower and he tried opening the doorlock using a screwdriver.
Its been 6,7 years since all this has stopped.
But I feel so grossed out whenever I think of it. Sometimes I feel so guilty and I feel I've done a really big sin as I didn't stop him in the beginning. I don't know who's fault it was. It just hurts. I really wish I could forget all that..

PTSD

I hate being touched..  i hate them so much
They make me so uncomfortable... sometimes they touch my legs with their legs 
Sometimes my back or shoulder
I thought they were chill but no it's getting worse day by day .... it's so irritating and disgusting 

Harassment

**Mr. What If's**
I'm sure some of you have already  read a little info about my life...
How will they, my family,  accept me if I haven't accept what happened to me 12 years ago? ...

How will they accept that I'm a victim of homophobic rape incident? ...
It sucks whenever it comes to my mind...
Yes I was abused by my older cousin, he is 10 years older than me, and it keeps on getting into my nerves whenever I see his fucking face...
They knew that he was mentally retarded but they do not know that he is only pretending...

I just wanted to kill him...
This should not happened to me...:C


Bipolar Disorder

Deprived of intimate touch

3am Thoughts

I was molested by my boyfriend and I forgave him because of not knowing the concept of concent. Since then I have been having second thoughts. Concent is not something we have been taught in school or home and it is his first relationship also, so I guess, may be, he is innocent, which is why I forgave him, but I'm still not sure, any suggestions?

Emotional Abuse

Please don't ignore this
I need your help
Please help meee!!!!🙏🙏
I haven't told this to anyone and i almost thought that I'll carry this horrendous thing with me to my grave without anyone knowing but i really wanted to share this with someone 
So I've gathered all my courage today to tell you this (whoever's reading)
and i think this will be the first and last time I'm sharing this with someone 
•(It's little bit sensitive)
**trigger warning**
This was when i was 13. I went to one of my far away relative (i can say it was my uncle's house whom i didn't met for much long) to celebrate half of my summer vacations after completing my assignments and after spending a couple of days there, one day my sister and aunt went market for doing grocery shopping meanwhile i was watching something on my sister's laptop 
Suddenly my uncle came to me smiling and he sat near me. Seeing him smiling i also smiled at him and then again i dig my sight in my screen
Then he suddenly grabbed my hand and touched his p*
I wasn't able to understand what was happening at that time, i was like freezed, then i just suddenly stood and went to my neighbor aunt, and i just told her like i just want to spend some time with her so i came.
But you know what, that was the first time i was scared like hell and i used to respect that man a lot because he was a retired soldier from army but my  belief now just broke into smallest pieces possible 
I started to feel super insecure 
Then when my sister and aunt came home, i returned 
And still that man was looking at me with the same eyes, and when we were having dinner he even insisted me to sit on his lap, at that time i felt like i wanna run away now anywhere but i didn't want to return back
I strictly refused him
He even tried touching me many times 
This creepy things happened to me for straight 5 days when my sister and aunt used to go out for their jobs and he warned me not to tell anyone otherwise no one will believe me and they'll think that I'm just a rotten kid
Then on the 6th day he told me that i should sleep with him at night because due to me my aunt and my sister aren't able to sleep properly in sufficient space (bullshit) 
And on that day again when my aunt and sister went out then he thought of even doing something worse He tried crossing his line while i was scared and crying and i was just on the verge of getting sexually harassed but i yelled and ran away from that house 
I ran to the nearest park and sat on the swing and started crying 
After crying for an hour i went to my neighbor and told them to call my dad
I called my dad while i was crying and told him to take me back the very other day and when he asked me the reason for my crying than i just told him that i was missing him and mom so much
I wish i could forget those horrible 6 days of my life which were more than a nightmare to me
Due to that incident I've developed PTSD which my parents even don't know about and i can't even hear or watch anything about violence which happens to girls  
Because it reminds me of myself 
I never told this to anyone and i don't think I'll even share this with anyone in future because i think it can split families apart
I'm crying rn while writing this but I'm feeling like atleast someone else know what i went through
Now I'm 18 and suddenly i started getting flashbacks which is scarring and disturbing me mentally 
I'm really struggling alone inside and you know what,now I'm slowly getting tired of this struggle 
I can't say this to even my friends because who know if they start hating me 
What should i do people T_T
Moreover I'm also neet Aspirant and I'm afraid what if this can disturb my preparation 
I'm really getting mentally weak now fighting my past and anxiety and what makes it worse is fighting alone
I'm currently on a stage where i don't wanna exist anymore, what's still holding me from suicide is my family and my dream of becoming doctor 
Please help me, what should i do now to deal with this
You people taught me not to give up so can you please help this child for once more, please 
(pls don't suggest telling my parents or going to therapist because you know typical Indian household)


Child Abuse

I'm just-
I've found my elder brother jrking off to me a few times when he thinks I'm asleep but I'm not (I usually don't lock the door, as I'm not allowed to)
and he keeps on saying things and mo@ning
I've seen him even doing that to my pics too in his pc!
I've seen 'it' too and its weird
I was scared at first now I'm just creeped out and traumatizzed 
I can't tell this to my mom because A) she won't believe and then my brother will bully me and B) i dont think she cares and will give a f
idk what to do
I'm 17 he's 23

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts